Basement-dwelling pseudo-otaku with a thrill for forecasting on the side.
By: KoritheMan , 12:24 AM GMT on March 26, 2014
I've known for a long time that I have an issue with arrogance; it's becoming even more apparent with time. Some of you have probably already noticed it, while a couple of my friends (and my brother) have outright reaffirmed it.
The typical thought processes inside my head when I'm talking to someone I think has inferior opinions or views is "I'm better than you. Let me trample you beneath my foot." I don't actually say those things, but that it is hardly an exaggerated paraphrase of what I'm thinking at any given time I'm interacting with such people.
I had a conversation with my friend last night. I'm a person that doesn't care at all about putting his stuff on blast; it's never bothered me, and I don't sympathize at all with the unspoken rule to adhere to that philosophy, at least when it comes to applying it to myself. However, I do respect my friend, and I'm naturally a little more reserved to put the business of my friends on blast, especially lacking permission. I don't have his permission, nor do I think he's the type of person that would give it to me, so I'm not going to copy/paste the nitty gritty. I will at least summarize, though.
Now, anyone who's perused my blogs (and even my blog posts on Masters' own blog) knows that I'm not exactly big on social graces (I swear I did not mean to quote the awesome Garth Brooks song containing those lyrics, but hey... :)); I've considered that it may be a form of autism, but not only am I not fond of self-diagnosis, to my knowledge social inability wrought by autism isn't normally willful; people with autism tend to just... not comprehend... social barriers and norms. I comprehend them, I just choose to ignore them due to me seeing the majority of them as illogical and not well-constructed.
Anyway, the little mini-rant I did there was primarily for backstory. Context is important, you know? ;)
To summarize the conversation I had with my friend, it ended up boiling down to social rules and morality. What we talked about isn't exactly WU-friendly, so unfortunately I can't really talk about it (I value my account! :P) in as much detail as I would like. However, my friend considered this topic to be a highly immoral one, while I submitted that the supposed immorality that seems rampant is only another of many societal byproducts lacking logical basis. The way I delivered my comments throughout that half hour conversation was said in my usual tone; but because I was thinking the entire time how I thought I was superior (even though I didn't actually say it) because I didn't hold views that were traditional or driven by society, I can't help but think that my mental arrogance/inflated self-worth/superiority complex contributed greatly to the way I presented my arguments.
I have no intention of apologizing to anyone for being a social retard. But... if I can be reasonably certain (and I am) that the way I present myself to my friend is due to my personal arrogance and over-inflated sense of self-worth, I have no reason to assume that the same mentality isn't bleeding over into every interaction I have with people whose views I see as inferior. And if that's the case, I think it's time for a change. I have no idea how to go about it, though. But I'm really upset. And I'm open to suggestions, should anyone want to give it.
In summation, I have a huge arrogance problem. I freely admit that. And in the end, that arrogance was created through and is solidified by what I perceive to be rampant illogicality in the world. If someone holds a view that falls under the "no just no" spectrum, I find it immensely difficult to respect that person. I know that's wrong, and that's why I want to change it. I want to better myself.
Comments are welcome. I don't even care if they're not constructive or the least bit positive.
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