Basement-dwelling pseudo-otaku with a thrill for forecasting on the side.
By: KoritheMan, 6:25 AM GMT on January 20, 2014
So I realize now I possess this quality in earnest. I've been working for over two years at this point (I was homeschooled before that, if anyone wants to know), and I honestly cannot possibly enumerate how many times I've been called socially awkward during that time. For awhile -- up until very recently, actually -- I took a great degree of offense to this. After all, who wants to be called awkward? The word itself carries an extremely negative connotation. But then I realized that... they were right. I am awkward; I honestly have no idea why I wasn't able to see it before. For most of those two years I kept wondering what they meant by that, but now it's plainly obvious to me: I am infinitely more forward and direct than most people are. Most people don't just walk up to people and start asking them random questions. For some reason, there is this ridiculous societal expectation to surreptitiously wean things into conversation instead of just being direct, upfront, and honest with what you want to say. I'd say if you have to be discreet to the point where the other person has to second-guess your intentions, you're doing it wrong. Also, I can't recall how many times, when I used to possess that mindset, I got frustrated when I couldn't find an ample opportunity to bring up the thing I wanted to discuss. I staunchly believe communication proceeds 100x smoother if we just come out and say whatever is on our minds, rather than beating around the bush and trying to create a window in which it's "socially accepted" (whatever the hell that means) to say it. So now, I don't. Apparently, in the words of a coworker, "Most people aren't used to [my frankness] that", but I don't particularly care anymore; just because society has established a certain sense of rules, it doesn't mean I have to abide by them. I am a lot happier being an iconoclast than I ever was being what I deem to be a societal sheep, and I plan to keep it that way.
I'll fully admit that this mentality is not very adaptive or healthy to generate a vast array of friends, but who actually cares about that? The people who know me will appreciate me for who I am, and the others can go fall off a cliff or something. While that was an extreme and probably useless metaphor, the point I'm trying to make here is that I think people judge entirely too superficially, and that society as a whole is structured according to an extremely tenuous and arbitrary set of "rules" that are somehow touted as being not tenuous and arbitrary.
So, yeah. If I want to ask my people something, I'm going to. None of this trying to create a conversation opening crap. And if they don't like it, it doesn't mean there's something objectively wrong with me, it means we're operating under entirely different paradigms. But frankly, the lack of logical thought to the pragmatism and utility of a vast majority of societal views annoys me. I can't force people to live the way I do, but hopefully I can at least open their minds through example.
So now if people call me awkward, I just cordially agree, revel, and embrace the level. Life is grand when you're you.
Anyone have any thoughts they'd like to share? I get the feeling this blog may get removed by WU admins, or people will just think I'm stupid (and again, think that; I don't care if I lose any respect for posting this. I don't strive for approval) and ignore it altogether. But for those who care (Nathan, looking at you), here it is. Not gonna delete this time.