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Last Updated: 1:52 PM GMT on November 02, 2009
— Last Comment: 11:42 PM GMT on November 01, 2009
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  COUNTRY MAN !!!!! I AM IN MY MID 50s I HAVE LIVED MY LIFE IN THE BIG CITY'S DALLAS, HOUSTON, AUSTIN AND WACO. ALL IN TEXAS. BUT THEN, ABOUT NINE YEARS AGO THE COUNTRY CALLED. NOW I'M OFF THE GRID! W/NO T.V.STATION BUT WITH SATELLITE RADIO. I'M LIVING IN FAR WEST TEXAS ON TOP OF A MOUNTAIN. AWAY FROM ALL THAT BIG CITY POLITICS, POLLUTION, GRID LOCK, AND ALL THOSE BAD PEOPLE YOU SEE ON THE EVENING NEWS. THANKS FOR COMING BY. HOPE YOU ENJOY SOME OF MY BLOG. I'M LEAVING SOME OF THE OLD STUFF SO WE DON'T FORGET WOULDN'T WANT TO REPEAT OURSELVES... AND TO GIVE THOSE WHO ARE FIRST TIME VISITOR A CHANCE TO CATCH UP. I WILL TRY TO KEEP IT LESS POLITICAL AND MORE UP BEAT I UPDATE IT EACH WEEKEND SO PLEASE COME SEE ME AGAIN... Click here to get more mini-SharkBreak widgets - www.SharkBreak.com  FINE ALL THE FACES ?  RIGHT CLICK DO A SAVE PICTURE AS PRINT IT OUT  YOU ARE THE PERSON TO VISITED MY BLOG AS OF 5/13/08 AS OF 09/06/09  Create your own visitor map! [URL=http://www.maploco.com/view.php?id=2346378][IMG]http://www.maploco.com/vmap/2346378.png[/IMG][ /URL] [URL=http://www.maploco.com/]Create your own visitor map![/URL] [URL=http://flagcounter.com/more/X7l][IMG]http://flagcounter.com/count/X7l/bg=99FFFF/txt=000000/bor der=CC0033/columns=8/maxflags=24/viewers=0/labels=1/[/IMG][/URL] http://www.wunderground.com/satellite/vis/1k/US.html     --------------------------------------------------------- A NEW WEATHER STATION GO'S ON LINE !!  --------------------------------------------------------- img src="" alt="" /> --------------------------------------------------------- Gentle Thoughts for Today - Comments made in the year 1955! That's only 54 years ago! 'I'll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are, it's going to be impossible to buy a week's groceries for $10.00. 'Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won't be long before $1, 000.00 will only buy a used one. 'If cigarettes keep going up in price, I'm going to quit. 20 cents a pack is ridiculous. 'Did you hear the post office is thinking about charging 7 cents just to mail a letter 'If they raise the minimum wage to $1.00, nobody will be able to hire outside help at the store. 'When I first started driving, who would have thought gas would someday cost 25 cents a gallon. Guess we'd be better off leaving the car in the garage. 'I'm afraid to send my kids to the movies any more Ever since they let Clark Gable get by with saying DAMN in GONE WITH THE WIND, it seems every new movie has either HELL or DAMN in it. 'I read the other day where some scientist thinks it's possible to put a man on the moon by the end of the century. They even have some fellows they call astronauts preparing for it down inTexas . 'Did you see where some baseball player just signed a contract for $50,000 a year just to play ball? It wouldn't surprise me if someday they'll be making more than the President. 'I never thought I'd see the day all our kitchen appliances would be electric. They are even making electric typewriters now. 'It's too bad things are so tough nowadays. I see where a few married women are having to work to make ends meet. 'It won't be long before young couples are going to have to hire someone to watch their kids so they can both work. 'I'm afraid the Volkswagen car is going to open the door to a whole lot of foreign business. 'Thank goodness I won't live to see the day when the Government takes half our income in taxes. I sometimes wonder if we are electing the best people to government. 'The drive-in restaurant is convenient in nice weather, but I seriously doubt they will ever catch on. 'There is no sense going on short trips anymore for a weekend, it costs nearly $2.00 a night to stay in a hotel. 'No one can afford to be sick anymore, at $15.00 a day in the hospital, it's too rich for my blood.' 'If they think I'll pay 30 cents for a hair cut, forget it.' Things That Sound Dirty Things That Sound Dirty At Thanksgiving, But Aren't "Whew, that's one terrific spread!" "I'm in the mood for a little dark meat." "Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist." "Talk about a huge breast!" "It's Cool Whip time!" "If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!" "Are you ready for seconds yet?" "Are you going to come again next time?" "It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?" "Just wait your turn, you'll get some!" "Don't play with your meat." "Just spread the legs open & stuff it in." "Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?" "I didn't expect everyone to come at once!" "You still have a little bit on your chin." "Use a nice smooth stroke when you whip it." "How long will it take after you stick it in?" "You'll know it's ready when it pops up." "Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that!" "How many are coming?" "That's the biggest one I've ever seen!" "Just lay back & take it easy...I'll do the rest." "How long do I beat it before it's ready?" Click here to get more mini-SharkBreak widgets - www.SharkBreak.com 25 THINGS ABOUT TO BECOME EXTINCT IN AMERICA Will this happen in our life time? 25. U.S. Post Office They are pricing themselves out of existence. With e-mail, and online services they are a relic of the past. (refer to #9) Packages are also sent faster and cheaper with UPS. Removeing 60 blue mail box's a month don't help. 24. Yellow Pages This year will be pivotal for the global Yellow Pages industry. Much like newspapers, print Yellow Pages will continue to bleed dollars to their various digital counterparts, from Internet Yellow Pages (IYPs), to local search engines and combination search/listing services like Reach Local and Yodel Factors like 20 an acceleration of the print 'fade rate' and the looming recession will contribute to the onslaught. One research firm predicts the falloff in usage of newspapers and print Yellow Pages c ould even reach 10% this year -- much higher than the 2%-3% fade rate seen in past years. 23. Classified Ads The Internet has made so many things obsolete that newspaper classified ads might sound like just another trivial item on a long list. But this is one of those harbingers of the future that could signal the end of civilization as we know it.. The argument is that if newspaper classifieds are replaced by free online listings at sites like Craigslist.org and Google Base, then newspapers are not far behind them. 22. Movie Rental Stores While Netflix is looking up at the moment, Blockbuster keeps closing store locations by the hundreds. It still has about 6,000 left across the world, but those keep dwindling and the stock is down considerably in 2008, especially=2 0since the company gave up a quest of Circuit City . Movie Gallery, which owned the Hollywood Video brand, closed up shop earlier this year. Countless small video chains and mom-and-pop stores have given up the ghost already. 21. Dial-up Internet Access Dial-up connections have fallen from 40% in 2001 to 10% in 2008. The combination of an infrastructure to accommodate affordable high speed Internet connections and the disappearing home phone have all but pounded the final nail in the coffin of dial-up Internet access. 20. Phone Land Lines According to a survey from the National Center for Health Statistics, at the end of 2007, nearly one in six homes was cell-only and, of those homes that had land lines, one in eight only rece ived calls on their cells. 19. Chesapeake Bay Blue Crabs Maryland's icon, the blue crab, has been fading away in Chesapeake Bay . Last year Maryland saw the lowest harvest (22 million pounds) since 1945. Just four decades ago the bay produced 96 million pounds. The population is down 70% since 1990, when they first did a formal count. There are only about 120 million crabs in the bay and they think they need 200 million for a sustainable population. Over-fishing, pollution, invasive species and global warming get the blame. 18. VCRs For the better part of three decades, the VCR was a best-seller and staple in every American household until being completely decimated by the DVD, and now the Digital Video Recorder (DVR). In fact, the only remnants of the VHS age at your local Wal-Mart or Radio Shack are blank VHS tapes these days. Pre-recorded VHS tapes are largely gone and VHS decks are practically nowhere to be found. They served us so well. 17. Ash Trees In the late 1990's, a pretty, iridescent green species of beetle, now known as the emerald ash borer, hitched a ride to North America with ash wood products imported from eastern Asia . In less than a decade, its larvae have killed millions of trees in the Midwest , and continue to spread . They've killed more than 30 million ash trees in southeastern Michigan alone, with tens of millions more lost in Ohio and Indiana . More than 7.5 billion ash trees are currently at risk. 16. Ham Radio Amateur radio operators enjoy personal (and often worldwide) wireless communications with each other and are able to support their communities with emergency and disaster communications if necessary, while increasing their personal knowledge of electronics and radio theory. However, proliferation of the Int ernet and its popularity among youth has caused the decline of amateur radio. In the past five years alone, the number of people holding active ham radio licenses has dropped by 50,000, even though Morse Code is no longer a requirement. 15. The Swimming Hole Thanks to our litigious society, swimming holes are becoming a thing of the past. '20/20' reports that swimming hole owners, like Robert Every in High Falls, NY, are shutting them down out of worry that if someone gets hurt they'll sue. And that's exactly what happened in Seattle . The city of Bellingham was sued by Katie Hofstetter who was paralyzed in a fall at a popular swimming hole in Whatcom Falls Park . As injuries occur and lawsuits follow, expect more swimming holes to post 'Keep out!' signs. 14. Answering Machines The increasing disappearance of answering machines is dir ectly=2 0tied to No 20 our list -- the decline of landlines. According to USA Today, the number of homes that only use cell phones jumped 159% between 2004 and 2007. It has been particularly bad in New York ; since 2000, landline usage has dropped 55%. It's logical that as cell phones rise, many of them replacing traditional landlines, that there will be fewer answering machines. 13. Cameras That Use Film It doesn't require a statistician to prove the rapid disappearance of the film camera in America . Just look to 20 companies like Nikon, the professional' s choice for quality camera equipment. In 2006, it announced that it would stop making film cameras, pointing to the shrinking market -- only 3% of its sales in 2005, compared to 75% of sales from digital cameras and equipment. 12. Incandescent Bulbs Before a few years ago, the standard 60-watt (or, yikes, 100-watt) bulb was the mainstay of every U.S. home. With the green movement and all-things-sustaina ble-energy crowd, the Compact Fluorescent Lightbulb (CFL) is largely replacing the older, Edison-era incandescent bulb. The EPA reports that 2007 sales for Energy Star CFLs nearly doubled from 2006, and these sales accounted for approximately 20 percent of the U.S. light bulb market. And according to USA Today, a new energy bill plans to phase out incandescent bulbs in the next fou r to 12 years. 11. Stand-Alone Bowling Alleys Bowling Balls. US claims there are still 60 million Americans who bowl at least once a year, but many are not bowling in stand-alone bowling alleys. Today most new bowling alleys are part of facilities for all types or recreation including laser tag, go-karts, bumper cars, video game arcades, climbing walls and glow miniature golf. Bowling lanes also have been added to many non-traditional venues such as adult communities, hotels and resorts, and gambling casinos. 10. The Milkman According to=2 0the U.S. Department of Agriculture, in 1950, over half of the milk delivered was to the home in quart bottles, by 1963, it was about a third and by 2001, it represented only 0.4% percent. Nowadays most milk is sold through supermarkets in gallon jugs. The steady decline in home-delivered milk is blamed, of course, on the rise of the supermarket, better home refrigeration and longer-lasting milk. Although some milkmen still make the rounds in pockets of the U.S. , they are certainly a dying breed... 9. Hand-Written Letters In 2006, the Radicati Group estimated that, worldwide, 183 billion e-mails were sent each day.. Two million each second. By Nove mber of 2007, an estimated 3.3 billion Earthlings owned cell phones, and 80% of the world's population had access to cell phone coverage. In 2004, half-a-trillion text messages were sent, and the number has no doubt increased exponentially since then. So where amongst this gorge of gabble is there room for the elegant, polite hand-written letter? 8. Wild Horses It is estimated that 100 years ago, as many as two million horses were roaming free within the United States . In 2001, National Geographic News estimated that the wild horse population has decreased to about 50,000 head. Currently, the National Wild Horse and Burro Advisory board states that there are 32,000 free roaming horses in ten Western states, with half of them residing in Nevada . The Bureau of Land Management is seeking to reduce the total number of free range horses to 27,000, possibly by selective euthanasia. 7. Personal Checks According to an American Bankers Assoc. report, a net 23% of consumers plan to decrease their use of checks over the next two years, while a net 14% plan to increase their use of PIN debit. Bill payment remains the last stronghold of paper-based payments -- for the time being. Checks continue to be the most commonly used bill payment method, with 71% of consumers paying at least one recurring bill per month by writing a check. However, a bill-by-bill basis, checks account for only 49% of consumers' recurring bill payments20(down from 72% in 2001 and 60% in 2003). 6.. Drive-in Theaters During the peak in 1958, there were more than 4,000 drive-in theaters in this country, but in 2007 only 405 drive-ins were still operating. Exactly zero new drive-ins have been built since 2005.=2 0Only one reopened in 2005 and five reopened in 2006, so there isn't much of a movement toward reviving the closed ones. 5. Mumps & Measles Despite what's been in the news lately, the measles and mumps actually, truly are disappearing from the United States . In 1964, 212,000 cases of mumps were reported in the U.S. By 1983, this figure had dropped20to 3,000, thanks to a vigorous vaccination program. Prior to the introduction of the measles vaccine, approximately half a million cases of measles were reported in the U.S. annually, resulting in 450 deaths. In 2005, only 66 cases were recorded. 4. Honey Bees Perhaps nothing on our list of disappearing America is so dire; plummeting so enormously; and so necessary to the survival of our food supply as the honey bee.. Very scary. 'Colony Collapse Disorder,' or CCD, has spread throughou t the U.S. and Europe over the past few years, wiping out 50% to 90% of the colonies of many beekeepers -- and along with it, their livelihood. 3. News Magazines and TV News While the TV evening newscasts haven't gone anywhere over the last several decades, their audiences have. In 1984, in a story about the diminishing returns of the evening news, the New York Times reported that all three network evening-news programs combined had only 40.9 million viewers. Fast forward to 2008, and what they have today is half that. 2.. Analog TV According to the Consumer Electronics Association, 85% of homes in the U.S. get their television programming through cable or satellite providers. For the remaining 15% -- or 13 million individuals -- who are using rabbit ears or a large outdoor antenna to get their local stations, change is 20in the air. If you a re one of these people you'll need to get a new TV or a converter box in order to get the new stations which will only be broadcast in digital.. 1. The Family Farm Since the 1930's, the number of family farms has been declining rapidly. According to the USDA, 5.3 million farms dotted the nation in 1950, but this number had declined to 2.1 million by the 2003 farm census (data from the 2007 census is just now being published). Ninety-one percent of the U.S. FARMS are small Family Farms. Both interesting and saddening, isn't it? --------------------------------------------------------- cowboy named Bud A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in California when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you give me a calf?" Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?" The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany . Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves." "That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car. Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?" The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?" "You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says Bud. "Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?" "No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter. This is a herd of sheep. .... Now give me back my dog. --------------------------------------------------------- Drinking with a Texas Girl A Mexican, an Arab, and a Texas girl are in the same bar. When the Mexican finishes his beer, he throws his glass in the air, pulls out his pistol, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, 'In Mexico , our glasses are so cheap we don't need to drink with the same one twice..' The Arab, obviously impressed by this, drinks no-alcohol beer (cuz he's a muslim!), throws it into the air, pulls out his AK-47, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, 'In the Arab World, we have so much sand to make glasses that we don't need to drink with the same one twice either.' The Texas girl, cool as a cucumber, picks up her beer, downs it in one gulp, throws the glass into the air, whips out her 45, and shoots the Mexican and the Arab. Catching her glass, setting it on the bar, and calling for a refill, she says,'In Texas we have so many illegal aliens that we don't have to drink with the same ones twice.' God Bless Texas --------------------------------------------------------- A DIFFERENT WAYS OF THINGS 1. Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi 2. 2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton 3. 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope 4. Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond 5. Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billygram 6. Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour = Knotfurlong 7. 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Serling 8. Half of a large intestine = 1 semicolon 9. 1,000,000 aches = 1 megahurtz 10. Basic unit of laryngitis = 1 hoarsepower 11 Shortest distance between two jokes = A straight line 12. 453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake 13. 1 million-million microphones = 1 megaphone 14. 2 million bicycles = 2 megacycles 15. 365.25 days = 1 unicycle 16. 2000 mockingbirds = 2 kilomockingbirds 17. 52 cards = 1 decacards 18. 1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 FigNewton 19. 1000 milliliters of wet socks = 1 literhosen 20. 1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche 21. 1 trillion pins = 1 terrapin 22. 10 rations = 1 decaration 23. 100 rations = 1 C-ration0D 24. 2 monograms = 1 diagram --------------------------------------------------------- <Wooden Leg Insurance Wooden Leg Insurance A man and his wife moved back home to Texas from Louisiana . The husband had a wooden leg, and to insure it back in Louisiana it cost them $2,000 per year! When they arrived in Texas , they went to an insurance agency to see how much it would cost to insure his wooden leg. The agent looked it up on the computer and said: '$39.' The husband was shocked and asked why it was so cheap here in Texas to insure it because it cost him $2000 in Louisiana ! The insurance agent turned his computer screen to the couple and said, 'Well, here it is on the screen, it says: Any wooden structure, with a sprinkler system above it is $39... You just have to know how to describe it!' (Those Texas folks know how "to git 'er done", don't they?) ------------------------------------------- PONDERISMS I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes. There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead. Life is sexually transmitted. Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to? Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism. In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.. How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out?' If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him? If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup? Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? Do you ever wonder why you gave me your email address? ------------------------------------------- DIFFERENT WAYS OF LOOKING AT THINGS (Or the uncertainty of the English language) Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and family values. Stu said, 'I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?' Leroy replied, 'I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?' --------------------------------------------------------- A little boy went up to his father and asked: 'Dad, where did my intelligence come from?' The father replied. 'Well, son, you must have got it from your mother, cause I still have mine.' --------------------------------------------------------- 'Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,' the divorce Court Judge said, 'And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week,' 'That's very fair, your honor,' the husband said. 'And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself.' --------------------------------------------------------- A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, took the husband aside, and said, 'I don't like the looks of your wife at all.' 'Me neither doc,' said the husband. 'But she's a great cook and really good with the kids.' ----------------------------------------------------------- An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, 'Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.' The old man says without hesitation, 'I now pronounce you man and wife.' ---------------------------------------------------------- Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder: 1. The DNA all matches. 2. There are no dental records. ---------------------------------------------------------- A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, 'Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City ?' The agent replies, 'Just a minute.' 'Thank you,' the blonde says, and hangs up. ---------------------------------------------------------- Moe: 'My wife got me to believe in religion.' Joe: 'Really?' Moe: 'Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in Hell.' ---------------------------------------------------------- A man is recovering from surgery when the Surgical Nurse appears and asks him how he is feeling. 'I'm O. K. but I didn't like the four letter-words the doctor used in surgery,' he answered. 'What did he say,' asked the nurse. 'Oops!' ------------------------------------------------------------ While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so sought my husband's advice. 'What do you think?' I asked. 'Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?' 'Better get a bikini,' he replied. 'You'd never get it all in one.' He's still in intensive care. ....................................................................... The graveside service just barely finished, when there was massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance. The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, 'Well, she's there.' ------------------------------------------- 1. A day without sunshine is like night. 2. On the other hand, you have different fingers. 3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot. 4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name. 5. Remember, half the people you know are below average... 6. He who laughs last thinks slowest. 7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. 8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap. 9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have. 10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. 11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines. 12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments. 13. OK, so what's the speed of dark? 14. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. 15. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now. 16. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges? 17. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. 20. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice? 21 Why do psychics have to ask you your name? 22. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, 'What the heck happened?' 23. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off. 24. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. 25. Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow. ------------------------------------------- classifieds newspapers - a smile for your day... 1. FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8-years old. Hateful little bastard. Bites! 2. FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog. 3. FREE PUPPIES.. Mother, AKC German Shepherd. Father, Super Dog....able to leap tall fences in a single bound. 4. FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG. Looks like a rat. Been out a while. Better be a big reward. 5. COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED. Also 1 gay bull for sale. 6. NORDIC TRACK $300 Hardly used, call Chubby. 7. GEORGIA PEACHES California grown - 89 cents/lb. 8. JOINING NUDIST COLONY! Must sell washer and dryer $300. 9. WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE . Worn once by mistake. Call Stephanie. And the best one?: 10. FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000 or best offer. No longer needed, Got married last month. Wife knows everything. ------------------------------------------- VERY INTERESTING STUFF A TINY TIDBIT OF HISTORY! WWII SECRET This email reveals an interesting WWII military secret that was just disclosed in 2007 a history treasure to pass along to anyone who has played the game Monopoly. WWII Starting in 1941, an increasing number of British airmen found themselves as the involuntary guests of the Third Reich, and the crown was casting about for ways and means to facilitate their escape. Now obviously, one of the most helpful aids to that end is a useful and accurate map, one showing not only where stuff was, but also showing the locations of 'safe houses' where a POW on- the-lam could go for food and shelter. Paper maps had some real drawbacks -- they make a lot of noise when you open and fold them, they wear out rapidly, and if they get wet, they turn into mush. Someone in MI-5 (similar to America's OSS) got the idea of printing escape maps on silk. It's durable, can be scrunched-up into tiny wads, and unfolded as many times as needed, and makes no noise whatsoever.. At that time, there was only one manufacturer in Great Britain that had perfected the technology of printing on silk, and that was John Waddington, Ltd. When approached by the government, the firm was only too happy to do its bit for the war effort. By pure coincidence, Waddington was also the U.K. Licensee for the popular American board game, Monopoly. As it happened, 'games and pastimes' was a category of item qualified for insertion into 'CARE packages', dispatched by the International Red Cross, to prisoners of war. Under the strictest of secrecy, in a securely guarded and inaccessible old workshop on the grounds of Waddington's, a group of sworn-to-secrecy employees began mass-producing escape maps, keyed to each region of Germany or Italy where Allied POW camps were located (Red Cross packages were delivered to prisoners in accordance with that same regional system). When processed, these maps could be folded into such tiny dots that they would actually fit inside a Monopoly playing piece. As long as they were at it, the clever workmen at Waddington's also managed to add: 1. A playing token, containing a small magnetic compass 2. A two-part metal file that could easily be screwed together 3. Useful amounts of genuine high-denomination German, Italian, and French currency, hidden within the piles of Monopoly money! British and American air crews were advised, before taking off on their first mission, how to identify a 'rigged' Monopoly set -- by means of a tiny red dot, one cleverly rigged to look like an ordinary printing glitch, located in the corner of the Free Parking square. Of the estimated 35,000 Allied POWS who successfully escaped, an estimated one-third were aided in their flight by the rigged Monopoly sets. Everyone who did so was sworn to secrecy indefinitely, since the British Government might want to use this highly successful ruse in still another, future war. The story wasn't de-classified until 2007, when the surviving craftsmen from Waddington's, as well as the firm itself, were finally honored in a public ceremony. Anyway, it's always nice when you can play that 'Get Out of Jail Free' card. I realize you're all too young for WWII (!).....maybe, but this is still interesting, isn't it? ------------------------------------------- A BIT OF HISTORY In George Washington's days, there were no cameras. One's image was either sculpted or painted. Some paintings of George Washington showed him standing behind a desk with one arm behind his back while others showed both legs and both arms. Prices charged by painters were not based on how many people were to be painted, but by how many limbs were to be painted. Arms and legs are 'limbs,' therefore painting them would cost the buyer more. Hence the expression, 'Okay, but it'll cost you an arm and a leg.' (Artists know hands and arms are more difficult to paint) ****************************** ******************************** As incredible as it sounds, men and women took baths only twice a year (May and October) Women kept their hair covered, while men shaved their heads (because of lice and bugs) and wore wigs. Wealthy men could afford good wigs made from wool. They couldn't wash t he wigs, so to clean them they would carve out a loaf of bread, put the wig in the shell, and bake it for 30 minutes. The heat would make the wig big and fluffy, hence the term 'big wig.' Today we often use the term 'here comes the Big Wig' because someone appears to be or is powerful and wealthy. ************************************************************** In the late 1700's, many houses consisted of a large room with only one chair. Commonly, a long wide board folded down from the wall, and was used for dining. The 'head of the household' always sat in the chair while everyone else ate sitting on the floor. Occasionally a guest, who was usually a man, would be invited to sit in this chair during a meal. To sit in the chair meant you were important and in charge. They called the one si tting in the chair the 'chair man.' Today in business, we use the expression or title 'Chairman' or 'Chairman of the Board.' ************************************************************** Personal hygiene left much room for improvement. As a result, many women and men had developed acne scars by adulthood. The women would spread bee's wax over their facial skin to smooth out their complexions. When they were speaking to each other, if a woman began to stare at another woman's face she was told, 'mind your own bee's wax.' Should the woman smile, the wax would crack, hence the term 'crack a smile'. In addition, when they sat too close to the fire, the wax would melt . . . Therefore, the expression 'losing face.' ************************************************************** Ladies wore corsets, which would lace up in the front. A proper and dignified woman, as in 'straight laced'. Wore a tightly tied lace. ************************************************************** Common entertainment included playing cards. However, there was a tax levied when purchasing playing cards but only applicable to the 'Ace of Spades.' To avoid paying the tax, people would purchase 51 cards instead. Yet, since most games require 52 cards, these people were thought to be stupid or dumb because they weren't 'playing with a full deck.' ************************************************************** Early politicians required feedback from the public to determine what the people considered important. Since there were no telephones, TV's or radios, the politicians sent their assistants to local taverns, pubs, and bars. They were told to 'go sip some ale' and listen to people's conversations and political concerns. Many assistants were dispatched at different times. 'You go sip here' and 'You go sip there.' The two words 'go sip' were eventually combined when referring to the local opinion and, thus we have the term 'gossip.' ********************************* ***************************** At local taverns, pubs, and bars, people drank from pint and quart-sized containers. A bar maid's job was to keep an eye on the customers and keep the drinks coming. She had to pay close attention and remember who was drinking in 'pints' and who was drinking in 'quarts,' hence the term 'minding your 'P's and Q's ' ** ************************************************************ One more: bet you didn't know this! In the heyday of sailing ships, all war ships and many freighters carried iron cannons.. Those cannons fired round iron cannon balls. It was necessary to keep a good supply near the cannon. However, how to prevent them from rolling about the deck? The best storage method devised was a square-based pyramid with one ball on top, resting on four resting on nine, which rested on sixteen. Thus, a supply of 30 cannon balls could be stacked in a small area right next to the cannon. There was only one problem....how to prevent the bottom layer from sliding or rolling from under the others. The solution was a metal plate called a 'Monkey' with 16 round indentations. However, if this plate were made of iron, the iron balls would quickly rust to it. The solution to the rusting problem was to make 'Brass Monkeys.' Few landlubbers realize that brass contracts much more and much faster than iron when chilled. Consequently, when the temperature dropped too far, the brass indentations would shrink so much that the iron cannonballs would come right off the monkey. Thus, it was quite literally, 'Cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey.' (All this time, you thought that was an improper expression, didn't you.) If you don't send this fabulous bit of historic knowledge to any and all your unsuspecting friends, your floppy is going to fall off your hard drive and kill your mouse. ------------------------------------------- MORE INTERESTING STUFF In the 1400's a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have 'the rule of thumb'. ------------------------------------------- Many years ago in Scotland , a new game was invented. It was ruled 'Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden'...and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language. ------------------------------------------- Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the U.S. Treasury. ------------------------------------------- Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better. ------------------------------------------- Coca-Cola was originally green. ------------------------------------------- It is impossible to lick your elbow. ------------------------------------------- Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair. ------------------------------------------- The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer. ------------------------------------------- The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments. ------------------------------------------- Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history: Spades - King David Hearts - Charlemagne Clubs -Alexander, the Great Diamonds - Julius Caesar ------------------------------------------- 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321 ------------------------------------------- If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes. ------------------------------------------- Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later. ------------------------------------------- Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat name requested? A. Obsession ------------------------------------------- Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter 'A'? A. One thousand ------------------------------------------- Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common? A. All were invented by women. ------------------------------------------- Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil? A. Honey ------------------------------------------- Q. Which day are there more collect calls than any other day of the year? A. Father's Day ------------------------------------------- In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase......... 'goodnight, sleep tight.' ------------------------------------------- It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon. ------------------------------------------- In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old England , when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them 'Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down.' It's where we get the phrase 'mind your P's and Q's'. ------------------------------------------- Many years ago in England , pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. 'Wet your whistle' is the phrase inspired by this practice. ------------------------------------------- At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow! ------------------------------------------- Don't pass this up just because it looks weird. Believe it or not, you can read this below: I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh (imagine 'huh' is jumbled up)? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1) - This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly, age 6) 2) - Oysters' balls are called pearls. (Jerry, age 6) 3) - If you are surrounded by ocean, you are an island. If you don't have ocean all round you, you are incontinent. (age 7) 4) - Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend any more. (Kylie, age 6) 5) - A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its head. (Billy, age 8) 6) - My uncle goes out in his boat with 2 other men and a woman and pots and comes back with crabs. (Millie, age 6) 7) - When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes when the wind didn't blow the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would have been better off eating beans. (William, age 7) 8) - Mermaids live in the ocean. I like mermaids. They are beautiful and I like their shiny tails, but how on earth do mermaids get pregnant? Like, really? (Helen, age 6) 9) - I'm not going to write about the ocean. My baby brother is always crying, my Dad keeps yelling at my Mom, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy, age 6) 10) - Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves in to chargers. (Christopher, age 7) 11) - When you go swimming in the ocean, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevin, age 6) 12) - Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky, age 8) 13) - On vacation my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water fired right up her big fat ass.(Julie, age 7) 14) - The ocean is made up of water and fish. Why the fish don't drown I don't know. (Bobby, age 6) 15) - My dad was a sailor on the ocean. He knows all about the ocean. What he doesn't know is why he quit being a sailor and married my mom. (James, age 7 ------------------------------------------- While reading, keep in mind that these are 6-year-olds, 1.Don’t change horses --------------------until they stop running. 2.Strike while the --------------------wasp is close. 3.It’s always darkest before --------------------Daylight Saving Time.. 4.Never underestimate the power of --------------------termites. 5.You can lead a horse to water but --------------------How? 6.Don’t bite the hand that --------------------looks dirty. 7.No news is --------------------impossible 8.A miss is as good as a --------------------Mr. 9.You can’t teach an old dog new --------------------Maths 10.If you lie down with dogs, you’ll --------------------stink in the morning.. 11.Love all, trust --------------------me. 12.The pen is mightier than the --------------------pigs. 13.An idle mind is --------------------the best way to relax 14.Where there’s smoke there’s --------------------pollution. 15.Happy the bride who --------------------gets all the presents. 16.A penny saved is --------------------not much. 17.Two’s company, three’s --------------------the Musketeers. 18.Don’t put off till tomorrow what --------------------you put on to go to bed. 19.Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and --------------------You have to blow your nose. 20.There are none so blind as --------------------Stevie Wonder . 21.Children should be seen and not --------------------spanked or grounded. 22.If at first you don’t succeed --------------------get new batteries. 23.You get out of something only what you --------------------See in the picture on the box 24.When the blind lead the blind --------------------get out of the way. 25.A bird in the hand --------------------is going to poop on you. ------------------------------------------- HOW SMART IS YOUR RIGHT FOOT? You have to try this please it takes 2 seconds. I could not believe this !!! It is from an orthopaedic surgeon............. This will boggle your mind and you will keep you trying over and over again to see if you can outsmart your foot, but you can't. It's pre-programmed in your brain! 1. Without anyone watching you (they will think you are GOOFY!!) and while sitting at your desk in front of your computer, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles with it. 2. Now, while doing this, draw the number '6' in the air with your right hand. Your foot will change direction. I told you so!!! And there's nothing you can do about it! You and I both know how stupid it is, but before the day is done you are going to try it again, if you've not already done so. Send it to your friends to frustrate them too. ------------------------------------------- YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2009 when... 1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave. 2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years. 3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three. 4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you. 5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses. 6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries. 7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen 8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it. 10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee. 11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. :) 12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing. 13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message. 14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list. 15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list. ~~~~~~~~~~~ AND FINALLY ~~~~~~~~~~~~ NOW YOU ARE LAUGHING at yourself. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR 2029 Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California . White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language. Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock. Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped. Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage. Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels. France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica . No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation! Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking. George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036. Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only. 85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise are the keys to weight loss. Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs. Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba. Abortion clinics now available in every High School in United States Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays. Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative. Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights. Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches. New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2030. IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent. Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines. Now, send this to whomever you want and as many as you want, then, guess what.... NOTHING will happen. No miracles, no money, absolutely nothing, except you might make someone smile or very very scared. I Love This Country! It's The Government That Scares Me! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The Gynecologist: A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and HMO paperwork and was burned out. Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial, he desided to become a mechanic. He went to the Nashville Auto Diesel College, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently, and learned all he could. when the time for the practical exam approched, the gynecologist prepared carefully for weeks and completed the exam with tremendous skill. When the results came back, he was surprised to find thaat he had obtained a score of 150%. Fearing an error, he called the instructor, saying, "I don't want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wonder is there an error in the grade." The instructor said, "During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark. "You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth 50% of the mark." After a pause, the instructor added, "I gave you an extra 50% because you did it all through the muffler, which I've never seen done in my entire career." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ BOB GARFIELD: From WNYC BOB GARFIELD: From WNYC in New York, this is NPR’s On the Media. Brooke Gladstone is out this week. I'm Bob Garfield. PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH: We have been through a lot together. As I look to the room, I see Jake, Mike, Herman, Ann Compton. Just seems like yesterday that I was on the campaign trail and you were analyzing my speeches and my policies. BOB GARFIELD: The Washington Post called President Bush’s final press conference “wistful.” The Los Angeles Times called it “wistful.” The Associated Press called it - “wistful.” Could they have meant “willful?” PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH: My friends say, what is it like to deal with the press corps? I say, these are just people that try to do the best they possibly can. And so here at the last press conference I'm interested in answering some of your questions, but mostly I'm interested in saying thank you for the job. BOB GARFIELD: Oh, really? Thank you? I believed him when he said “you,” but I'm pretty sure “thank” isn't the verb of one syllable he had in mind, because for the past eight years this White House has mainly given the Fourth Estate and the First Amendment the finger. The Bush Administration ridiculed the press, ignored the press, stonewalled the press, bullied the press, maneuvered around the press, co-opted the press, censored the press, jailed the press, fabricated for the press, lied to the press and, for example, when caught illegally wiretapping Americans without a warrant, blamed the press. PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH: It was a shameful act for someone to disclose this very important program in time of war. BOB GARFIELD: This naked contempt for news organizations had something to do with politics. In the calculations of Karl Rove, the media represented a handy foil, an elitist enemy of the president’s base. PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH: There’s a sense that people in America aren't getting the truth. I'm mindful of the filter through which some news travels, and sometimes you just have to go over the heads of the filter and speak directly to the people. And that’s what we will continue to do. BOB GARFIELD: But media filtering was far more pernicious than wedge politics. It was rooted in fundamental administration dogma, that how the government goes about conducting the people’s business is none of the people’s business. This was signaled from the administration’s earliest days, when Vice-President Dick Cheney refused to disclose not only the deliberations of his Energy Task Force but the identities of oil executives and lobbyists consulted on government policy. After 9/11, that world view was cemented in the wanton classification of tens of millions of documents and public records and the de facto reversal by then-Attorney General John Ashcroft of the Freedom of Information Act. Indeed, the War on Terror gave the administration political cover for a wholesale retrenchment on both transparency and citizen rights, sometimes under the authority of the hideously named Patriot Act, sometimes by executive fiat. Alleged combatants were secretly detained, official emails were lost. Congressional subpoenas were ignored. Through so-called National Security Letters, unwilling informants were gagged, and on and on and on. MALE CORRESPONDENT: Records from back in the Reagan presidency that had been scheduled for release this year also have been kept under wrap. MALE CORRESPONDENT: The so-called “sneak and peak” provisions whereby the government can go in and conduct searches without telling a person, take stuff without leaving them an inventory, has not yet been challenged. MALE CORRESPONDENT: You know, the original idea was to have 24 million Americans calling in tips on their neighbors. BOB GARFIELD: Ah, yes, the notorious “tips” program, asking the Fed-Ex guy to keep his eyes peeled for enemies in our midst. One prominent tipster was Vice-Presidential Chief of Staff Scooter Libby, who revealed the identity of CIA officer Valerie Plame to several journalists after Plame’s husband, Ambassador Joe Wilson, criticized the administration’s pretext for war. Libby, says Special Prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald, was- PATRICK FITZGERALD: - the first official to disclose this information outside the government to a reporter. And then he lied about it afterwards – under oath, and repeatedly. BOB GARFIELD: Wartime brought out the worst in the administration’s relationship with the press. High-level leakers fed phony intelligence to New York Times reporters, resulting in stories cited by the administration as supposed independent validation. Dick Cheney on Meet the Press: VICE-PRESIDENT DICK CHENEY: There’s a story in The New York Times this morning. This is – and I won't attribute The Times - I don't want to talk about, obviously, specific intelligence sources – but it’s now public that, in fact - BOB GARFIELD: Add to such manipulation news suppression, such as the Pentagon’s refusal to permit photographs of returning flag-draped coffins at Dover Air Force Base, and even fabulism, like Hollywood heroics attributed to Private Jessica Lynch in Iraq and the late Corporal Pat Tillman, who died in a long-covered-up friendly fire incident in Afghanistan. California Congressman Henry Waxman. HENRY WAXMAN: We say deceptive, misleading information. It wasn't misleading information. We have false information that was put out to the American people, stories that were fabricated and made up. BOB GARFIELD: Public relations fraud did not end there. The administration staged at least one news conference involving fake reporters lobbing softballs to FEMA officials and another with the President in a supposedly off-the-cuff Q&A with soldiers in Iraq. SERGEANT LOMBARDO: I can tell you over the past ten months we've seen a tremendous increase in the capabilities and the confidences of our Iraqi security force partners. PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH: Yeah, that’s important. And the American people have got to know it, and I appreciate you bringing us that up, Sergeant Major, about how – what the progress is like. BOB GARFIELD: If you think that sounds scripted and unnatural, you should have seen the dress rehearsal, which was caught on tape. Then there were the payments to columnist Armstrong Williams and others to flog the administration line on No Child Left Behind, the appointment of professional propagandist Ken Tomlinson to the chairmanship of the Corporation for Public Broadcasting in an attempt to neutralize the supposed liberal slant of public radio and TV, and the deployment of a shadow force of retired military officers to shill for the Pentagon on TV news. Turns out that under the Bush FCC, you can't say a naughty word on live TV or expose your nipple but you can go undercover for the Department of Defense. So, yeah, no wonder the filterer-in-chief in his last press room appearance was suddenly so meek and deferential. Maybe he really was wistful. He did everything in his power to subvert the first rough draft of history but leaves office knowing that history will have its due. PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH: It has been a honor to work with you. I meant what I said when I first got up here. I wish you all the very best. I wish you and your families all the best. BOB GARFIELD: Well, Mr. President, thank you. No, really. Thank. You. Lessen to it on the Media Link +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-CLICK ON THE ->MORE HIT PLAY BUTTON img src="" alt="" /> --------------------- George W. Bush QUOTES --------------------- "The vast majority of our imports come from outside the country." - George W. Bush "If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." - George W. Bush "One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'. " - George W. Bush "I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future." - George W. Bush "The future will be better tomorrow." -George W. Bush "We're going to have the best educated American people in the world." - George W. Bush "I stand by all the misstatements that I've made." - George W. Bush " We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe We are a part of Europe." - George W. Bush "Public speaking is very easy." - George W. Bush "A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls." - George W. Bush "We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur." - George W. Bush "For NASA, space is still a high priority." - George W. Bush "Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children." - George W. Bush "It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." - George W. Bush "It's time for the human race to enter the solar system." - George W. Bush ----------------------------------------------------------- img src="" alt="" /> -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hurricane season is here again ! Black hurricanes.... Well, it appears our African-American friends have found yet something else to be pissed about. A black congresswoman (this would be Sheila Jackson Lee, of Houston ), reportedly complained that the names of hurricanes are all Caucasian sounding names. She would prefer some names that reflect African-American culture such as Chamiqua,Tanisha, Woeisha, Shaqueal, and Jamal. I am NOT making this up! She would also like the weather reports to be broadcast in 'language' that street people can understand because one of the problems that happened in New Orleans was, that black people couldn't understand the seriousness of the situation, due to the racially biased language of the weather report. I guess if the weather person says that the winds are going to blow at 140+ MPH, that's too hard to understand!! I can hear it now: A weatherman in New Orleans says... Wazzup, mutha-fukkas! Hehr-i-cane Chamiqua be headin' fo' yo ass like Leroy on a crotch rocket! Bitch be a category fo'! So, turn off dem chitlins, grab yo' chirren, leave yo crib, and head fo' de nearest FEMA office fo yo FREE sh_t. Insert mo --------------------------------------------------- got my stimulus I got my stimulus package in the Mail today. > > It contained: > > 1) Watermelon seeds > 2) Cornbread mix > 3) Ten coupons to KFC... > > Have you gotten yours yet? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ loud rumble If you hear a "loud rumble" tonite in the sky, don't worry. It's not thunder. It's Elvis beatin' the shit out of Micheal Jackson for marrying his daughter. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ South Dakota I-90 will be closed across the state of South Dakota starting April 3 at 9:00 PM CST and will remained closed until April 5 at 9:00 AM CST. The South Dakota DOT will be transporting a 200 ton block of coal to Mt. Rushmore so that Obama can be added to the monument. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Let's Recap--OBAMA 1, The American people elect a black president with a total of 42 days experience as a U S Senator from the most politically corrupt state in America, whose governor is ousted from office. The President's first official act is to close Gitmo and make sure terrorists civil rights are not violated. 2, The U.S. Congress rushes to confirm a black Attorney General, Eric Holder, whose law firm we later find out represents seventeen Gitmo Terrorists. 3, The CIA Boss, Leon Penetta with absolutely no experience, has a daughter Linda we find out, that is a true radical anti-American activist who is a supporter of all the Anti-American regimes in the western hemisphere. 4. We got the most corrupt female in America as Secretary of State; bought and paid for. 5. We got a Tax Cheat for Treasury Secretary who files his own taxes. 6. A Commerce Secretary nominee who withdrew due to corruption charges. 7. A Tax cheat nominee for Chief Performance Officer who withdrew under charges. 8. A Labor Secy nominee who withdrew under charges of unethical conduct. 9. A Sec'y. HHS nominee who withdrew under charges of cheating on his taxes. And that's just the first two weeks. . . but who's counting. America is being run by the modern-day Three Stooges ~ Barrack, Nancy , and Harry ~ and they are still trying to define stimulus. Stimulus is where the government gives a smidgen of your tax dollars back to you making you feel so good about yourself [stimulated] that you want to run out to Wal-Mart and buy a new Chinese-made HDTV and go home and watch Telemundo! AND AFTER George W. Bush ALL THIS LOOKS GOOD ---------------------------------------- Thus endith the lesson - Bubba ! Recession is when your neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose your job too. And recovery is when George W. Bush lost his. ---------------------------------------- Maersk Alabama > The U.S. Navy has stated that the Navy Seals could have acted faster > and rescued the Captain of the Maersk Alabama sooner, but had to wait > until the White House could confirm that none of the pirates were > related to Obama. ---------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------- LIQUIDITY definition: Liquidity is when you look at your retirement funds and wet your pants. ---------------------------------------- Redneck word of the year : "OBAMA" I BOUGHT ME A CASE OF BEER AND DRANK IT OBAMA SELF! ---------------------------------------- 2 Brazilian The Dept Of Defense briefed the president this morning, they told OBAMA that 2 Brazilian soldiers were killed in Iraq. To everyone's surprise, all the color drained from Obama's face. Then he collapsed onto his desk, head in his hands, visibly shaken, almost in tears. Finally, he composed himself and asked, ' Just how many is a brazilian?' ---------------------------------------- Enjoy the weather. Because almost every white person for 200+ years said. "It will be a cold day in Hell, before a black man becomes President." Is Obama family being singled out or have all first families in the past taken extraordinary advantage of taxpayer dollars? ---------------------------------------- Michelle Obama Takes Girls to London for Fish and Chips Truly change we can believe in --- or as was said during the campaign, "We are the change we have been waiting for." Imagine this --- and when do we get totally fed up? A Boeing 757 and a fleet of armored cars for Michelle’s sight seeing tour! Michelle One On Sunday, President Obama flew back to the United States on Air Force One. His wife, two daughters and her mother did a bit of shopping in Paris before taking their own Boeing 757 (C-32) over to London to do some sight seeing. We all remember Obama’s admonishment to corporate CEO’s in February: “You can’t get corporate jets, you can’t go take a trip to Las Vegas or go down to the Super Bowl on the taxpayers dime.” Apparently that doesn’t apply to his wife. The London Times opened it’s description of Michelle’s visit this way: Motorcycle outriders, armoured Chevrolets and bullet-headed men in raincoats criss-crossed London yesterday as Michelle Obama and her daughters spent a second day on an unofficial visit to the capital. The Times went on to describe that when Michelle and the girls arrived at Westminster Abbey, the building was closed to tourists with people already in told to “wait against the wall.” An American visiting the Abbey said “Right then I knew it was probably someone from our ‘royal family’.” Michelle’s motorcade shut down the London street above as the First Lady of the World and her children go for Fish and Chips at a pub in Mayfair . The entourage inside the restaurant was 15 people while dozens more wait outside. Include the dozens of Air Force personnel to fly and service the plane, embassy personnel and other staff and we are talking about a serious expenditure of tax payer dollars.. Meanwhile, millions of Americans have lost their jobs and won’t be able to take their family on a summer holiday. Despite their circumstances they’ll still be expected to fork over the tax dollars to pay for Michelle’s trip. Tell your friends about this -- it's their money being spent!! ---------------------------------------- Australian Shooter Magazine An interesting letter in the Australian Shooter Magazine this week, which I quote: "If you consider that there has been an average of 160,000 troops in the Iraq theater of operations during the past 22 months, and a total of 2112 deaths, that gives a firearm death rate of 60 per 100,000 soldiers. The firearm death rate in Washington, DC is 80.6 per 100,000 for the same period. That means you are about 25 percent more likely to be shot and killed in the U.S. capital, which has some of the strictest gun control laws in the U.S., than you are in Iraq. Conclusion: The U.S. should pull out of Washington." ---------------------------------------- We did it anyway Oklahoma The state law passed today, 37 to 9, had a few liberals in the mix, an amendment to place the Ten Commandments on the front entrance to the state capitol. The feds in D.C., along with the ACLU, said it would be a mistake. Hey this is a conservative state, based on Christian values...! Guess what..........We did it anyway. We recently passed a law in the state to incarcerate all illegal immigrants, and ship them back to where they came from, unless they want to get a green card and become an American citizen. They all scattered. Hope we didn't send any of them to your state. This was against the advice of the Federal Government, and the ACLU, they said it would be a mistake. Guess what..........we did it anyway.. Yesterday we passed a law to include DNA samples from any and all illegals to the Oklahoma database, for criminal investigative purposes. Pelosi said it was unconstitutional. Guess what........We did it anyway. Several weeks ago, we passed a law, declaring Oklahoma as a Sovereign state, not under the Federal Government directives. That, for your information, makes Oklahoma and Texas the only states to do so. Guess what.........More states are likely to follow. Louisiana, Alabama, Georgia, both Carolina's, Tennessee, Kentucky, Missouri, Arkansas, West Virginia, just to name a few. Should Mississippi act, so will Florida. Save your confederate money, it appears the South is about to rise up once again. The federal Government has made bold steps to take away our guns. Oklahoma, a week ago, passed a law confirming people in this state have the right to bear arms and transport them in their vehicles. I'm sure that was a set back for the Kennedys and Ms Pelosi. Guess what..........We did it anyway. By the way, Obama does not like any of this. Guess what....who cares...we're doing it anyway ---------------------------------------- Politically Incorrect Subject: Some might consider this politically incorrect... In South Los Angeles, a three-family apartment was destroyed by a fire. A Nigerian family of six lived on the first floor, and all six died in the fire. An Islamic family of seven lived on the second floor, and they, too, all perished in the fire. A white couple lived on the third floor. They both survived. Jesse Jackson was furious. He demanded to know why the blacks and the muslims died in the fire and only the white couple survived. The fire chief said, 'Simple--- the white couple were both at work.' ---------------------------------------- gardener protested his innocence It has just been reported that the head gardener at The White House has been dismissed after 28 years of loyal service to the many US presidents. When interviewed the gardener protested his innocence and said "All I know is I was walking past the Oval Office and I asked, "Has anyone seen the spade or the hoe." The next thing I knew I was fired. ---------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------- don't understand this stimulus Shortly after class, an economics student approaches his economics professor and says, "I don't understand this stimulus bill. Can you explain it to me?" * *The professor replied, "I don't have any time to explain it at my office, but if you come over to my house on Saturday and help me with my weekend project, I'll be glad to explain it to you." The student agreed.* *At the agreed-upon time, the student showed up at the professor's house. The professor stated that the weekend project involved his backyard pool.* *They both went out back to the pool, and the professor handed the student a bucket. Demonstrating with his own bucket, the professor said, "First, go over to the deep end, and fill your bucket with as much water as you can." The student did as he was instructed.* *The professor then continued, "Follow me over to the shallow end, and then dump all the water from your bucket into it." The student was naturally confused, but did as he was told.* *The professor then explained they were going to do this many more times, and began walking back to the deep end of the pool.* *The confused student asked, "Excuse me, but why are we doing this?"* *The professor matter-of-factly stated that he was trying to make the shallow end much deeper.* *The student didn't think the economics professor was serious, but figured that he would find out the real story soon enough.* *However, after the 6th trip between the shallow end and the deep end, the student began to become worried that his economics professor had gone mad. The student finally replied, "All we're doing is wasting valuable time and effort on unproductive pursuits. Even worse, when this process is all over, everything will be at the same level it was before, so all you'll really have accomplished is the destruction of what could have been truly productive action!"* *The professor put down his bucket and replied with a smile, "Congratulations. You now understand the stimulus bill." ----------------------------------------------------------- DAY IS DONE Day is done. Gone the sun. From the lakes. From the hills. From the sky. All is well. Safely rest. Good is the nigh. Fading light. Dims the sight. And a star. Gems the sky. Gleaming bright. From afar. Drawing nigh. Falls the night. Thanks and praise. For our days. Neath the sun. Neath the stars. Neath the sky. As we go. This we know. Good is the nigh. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- WHY IS IT.......IF YOU CROSS THE NORTH KOREAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET 12 YEARS HARD LABOR......BUT IF YOU CROSS THE U.S. BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET A DRIVERS LICENSE, SOCIAL SECURITY CARD, WELFARE, FOOD STAMPS, AND FREE HEALTH CARE? WHO'S BRIGHT IDEA WAS THIS?????? ------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------- 'Remember Lee Iacocca 'Remember Lee Iacocca, the man who rescued Chrysler Corporation from its death throes? He's now 82 years old and has a new book, 'Where Have All The Leaders Gone?'. Lee Iacocca Says: Am I the only guy in this country who's fed up with what's happening? Where the hell is our outrage? We should be screaming bloody murder! We've got a gang of clueless bozos steering our ship of state right over a cliff, we've got corporate gangsters stealing us blind, and we can't even clean up after a hurricane much less build a hybrid car. But instead of getting mad, everyone sits around and nods their heads when the politicians say, 'Stay the course.' Stay the course? You've got to be kidding. This is America , not the damned 'Titanic'. I'll give you a sound bite: 'Throw all the bums out!' You might think I'm getting senile, that I've gone off my rocker, and maybe I have. But someone has to speak up. I hardly recognize this country anymore. The most famous business leaders are not the innovators but the guys in handcuffs. While we're fiddling in Iraq , the Middle East is burning and nobody seems to know what to do. And the press is waving 'pom-poms' instead of asking hard questions. That's not the promise of the ' America ' my parents and yours traveled across the ocean for. I've had enough. How about you? I'll go a step further. You can't call yourself a patriot if you're not outraged. This is a fight I'm ready and willing to have. The Biggest 'C' is Crisis! (Iacocca elaborates on nine C's of leadership, with crisis being the first.) Leaders are made, not born. Leadership is forged in times of crisis. It's easy to sit there with your feet up on the desk and talk theory. Or send someone else's kids off to war when you've never seen a battlefield yourself. It's another thing to lead when your world comes tumbling down. On September 11, 2001, we needed a strong leader more than any other time in our history. We needed a steady hand to guide us out of the ashes. A hell of a mess, so here's where we stand. We're immersed in a bloody war with no plan for winning and no plan for leaving. We're running the biggest deficit in the history of the country. We're losing the manufacturing edge to Asia , while our once-great companies are getting slaughtered by health care costs. Gas prices are skyrocketing, and nobody in power has a coherent energy policy. Our schools are in trouble. Our borders are like sieves. The middle class is being squeezed every which way. These are times that cry out for leadership. But when you look around, you've got to ask: 'Where have all the leaders gone?' Where are the curious, creative communicators? Where are the people of character, courage, conviction, omnipotence, and common sense? I may be a sucker for alliteration, but I think you get the point. Name me a leader who has a better idea for homeland security than making us take off our shoes in airports and throwing away our shampoo? We've spent billions of dollars building a huge new bureaucracy, and all we know how to do is react to things that have already happened. Name me one leader who emerged from the crisis of Hurricane Katrina. Congress has yet to spend a single day evaluating the response to the hurricane or demanding accountability for the decisions that were made in the crucial hours after the storm. Everyone's hunkering down, fingers crossed, hoping it doesn't happen again. Now, that's just crazy. Storms happen. Deal with it. Make a plan. Figure out what you're going to do the next time. Name me an industry leader who is thinking creatively about how we can restore our competitive edge in manufacturing. Who would have believed that there could ever be a time when 'The Big Three' referred to Japanese car companies? How did this happen, and more important, what are we going to do about it? Name me a government leader who can articulate a plan for paying down the debt, or solving the energy crisis, or managing the health care problem. The silence is deafening. But these are the crises that are eating away at our country and milking the middle class dry. I have news for the gang in Congress. We didn't elect you to sit on your asses and do nothing and remain silent while our democracy is being hijacked and our greatness is being replaced with mediocrity. What is everybody so afraid of? - that some bonehead on Fox News will call them a name? Give me a break. Why don't you guys show some spine for a change? Had Enough? Hey, I'm not trying to be the voice of gloom and doom here. I'm trying to light a fire. I'm speaking out because I have hope - I believe in America . In my lifetime, I've had the privilege of living through some of America 's greatest moments. I've also experienced some of our worst crises: The 'Great Depression,' 'World Wars I and II,' the 'Korean War,' the 'Kennedy Assassination,'the 'Vietnam War,' the 1970's oil crisis, and the struggles of recent years culminating with 9/11. If I've learned one thing, it's this: 'You don't get anywhere by standing on the sidelines waiting for somebody else to take action. Whether it's building a better car or building a better future for our children, we all have a role to play. That's the challenge I'm raising in this book. It's a "Call to Action" for people who, like me, believe i n America '. It's not too late, but it's getting pretty close. So let's shake off the crap and go to work. Let's tell 'em all we've had 'enough.' Make your own contribution by sending this to everyone you know and care about. It's our country, folks, and it's our future. Our future is at stake!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The North and South The North has Bloomingdale's, the South has Dollar General. The North has coffee houses, the South has Waffle Houses. The North has dating services, the South has family reunions. The North has switchblade knives; the South has Lee Press-on Nails. The North has double last names; the South has double first names. The North has Indy car races; The South has stock car races. The North has Cream of Wheat, the South has grits. The North has green salads, the South has collard greens. The North has lobsters, the South has craw fish. The North has the rust belt; the South has the Bible Belt. ------------------------------------------- FOR NORTHERNERS MOVING SOUTH . . . In the South: --If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for. Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store.... do not buy food at this store. Remember, 'Y'all' is singular, 'all y'all' is plural, and 'all y'all's' is plural possessive Get used to hearing 'You ain't from round here, are ya?' Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how to use it. Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't understand you either. The first Southern statement to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective 'big'ol,' truck or 'big'ol' boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this way. All of them are in denial about it. The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper! Be advised that 'He needed killin.' is a valid defense here. If you hear a Southerner exclaim, 'Hey, y'all watch this,' you should stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll ever say. If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go there. Do not be surprised to find that 10-year olds own their own shotguns, they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim. In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway. AND REMEMBER: If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we wouldn't call 'em biscuits. Send this to four people that ain't related to you, and I reckon your life will turn into a country music song 'fore you know it. Your kin would get a kick out of it too! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Southern Ten Commandments Some people have trouble with all those 'shall's' and 'shall not's' in the Ten Commandments. Folks just aren't used to talking in those terms. So!!!! (1) Just one God (2) Put nothin' before him (3) Watch yer mouth (4) Git yourself to Sunday meetin' (5) Honor yer Ma & Pa (6) No killin others' (7) No foolin' around with another buddy's gal (8) Don't take what ain't yers (9) No tellin' tales or gossipin' (10) Don't be hankerin' for yer buddy's stuff Now that's plain an' simple. ------------------------------------------- Calling an illegal alien an 'undocumented immigrant' is like calling a drug dealer an 'unlicensed pharmacist' ---------------------------------------- The Blue Pigeon. The mayor of Phoenix was very worried about a plague of pigeons in Phoenix . He could not remove the pigeons from the city. All of Phoenix was full of pigeon poop, the people of Phoenix could not walk on the sidewalks, or drive on the roads. It was costing a fortune to keep the streets and sidewalks clean. One day a man came to City Hall and offered the Mayor a proposition. 'I can rid your beautiful city of its plague of pigeons without any cost to the city. But, you must promise not to ask me any questions. Or, you can pay me one million dollars to ask one question.' The mayor considered the offer briefly and accepted the free proposition. The next day the man climbed to the top of City Hall, opened his coat, and re leased a blue pigeon. The blue pigeon circled in the air and flew up into the bright blue Arizona sky. All the pigeons in Phoenix saw the blue pigeon and gathered up in the air behind the blue pigeon. The Phoenix pigeons followed the blue pigeon as she flew southward out of the city. The next day the blue pigeon returned completely alone to the man atop City Hall. The Mayor was very impressed.. He felt the man and the blue pigeon had performed a wonderful miraculous feat to rid Phoenix of the plague of pigeons. Even though the man with the pigeon had charged nothing, the mayor presented him with a check for 1 million dollars and told the man that, indeed, he did have a question to ask and even though they had agreed to no fee and the man had rid the city of pigeons, he decided to pay the 1 million just to get to ask ONE question. The man accepted the money and told the mayor to ask his ONE question. 'Do you have a blue Mexican?' ---------------------------------------- WOW I can't believe FOX aired this! Link TWO GUYS WHO HAS BEEN THERE PLEASE WATCH THE LINKS Link Link TO SEE George Carlin Link "Who will govern the governors? There is only one force in the nation that can be depended upon to keep the government pure and the governors honest, and that is the people themselves. They alone, if well informed, are capable of preventing the corruption of power, and of restoring the nation to its rightful course if it should go astray. They alone are the safest depository of the ultimate powers of government" - Thomas Jefferson Link Link Thomas Jefferson was strongly anti-federalist. While he might have written the Declaration of Independence, he definitely did not author the Constitution. Instead, that document was mainly written by James Madison. Jefferson spoke against a strong federal government and instead advocated states' rights. He feared tyranny of any kind and only recognized the need for a strong, central government in terms of foreign affairs. " A government big enough to give you everything you want, is big enough to take away everything you have " Thomas Jefferson ----------------------------------------------------------- "The beauty of the second amendment is that it will not be needed until they try to take it." ~~ Thomas Jefferson ~~ ----------------------------------------------------------- TOP TEN SIGNS THE COUNTRY MAY BE GOING FASCIST CLICK LINK Link ----------------------------------------------------------- HOW LONG DOES THE USA HAVE?* This is the most interesting thing I've read in a long time. The sad thing about it, you can see it coming.I have always heard about this democracy countdown. It is interesting to see it in print. God help us, not that we deserve it. How Long Do We Have? About the time our original thirteen states adopted their new constitution in 1787, Alexander Tyler, a Scottish history professor at the University of Edinburgh, had this to say about the fall of the Athenian Republic some 2,000 years earlier: 'A democracy is always temporary in nature; it simply cannot exist as a permanent form of government.' 'A democracy will continue to exist up until the time that politicians discover they can vote themselves generous gifts from the public treasury.'* 'From that moment on, the majority always vote for the candidates who promise the most benefits from the public treasury, with the result that every democracy will finally collapse due to loose fiscal policy, which is always followed by a dictatorship.' 'The average age of the world's greatest civilizations from the beginning of history, has been about 200 years' 'During those 200 years, those nations always progressed through the following sequence:* 1. From bondage to spiritual faith; 2. From spiritual faith to great courage; 3. From courage to liberty; 4. From liberty to abundance; 5. From abundance to complacency; 6. From complacency to apathy; 7. From apathy to dependence; 8. From dependence back into bondage' Olson believes the United States is now somewhere between the 'complacency and apathy' phase of Professor Tyler's definition of democracy, with some forty percent of the nation's population already having reached the'governmental dependency' phase. If Congress grants amnesty and citizenship to twenty million criminal invaders called illegal and they vote, then we can say goodbye to the USA in fewer than four years. If you are in favor of this then disregard this message if you are not then copy and Pass this along to help everyone realize just how much is at stake, knowing that apathy is the greatest danger to our freedom.* ----------------------------------------------------------- Here it is For the first time in history, Congress will not allow an increase in The social security COLA (cost of living adjustment). In fact, The Henry J.. Kaiser Family Foundation predicts there may not be any COLA For the next three years. However, the per person monthly Medicare Insurance premium will be increased from the 2009 premium of $96.40 to $104.20 in 2010 and to $ 120.20 for the year 2011. Let's send this to all senior that you know remind them not to vote For the incumbent senators and congressmen in the 2010 and the 2012 Elections. And don't forget - CONGRESS GAVE THEMSELVES A PAY RAISE THIS YEAR...WHAT KIND OF CRAP IS THAT?????? ----------------------------------------------------------- How come we choose from just two people to run for president and over fifty for Miss America? ----------------------------------------------------------- The Muslim Version of Adam & Eve  ----------------------------------------------------------- WHAT I USE TO PUT IN THE BANK NOW GO'S IN THE TANK !!! ----------------------------------------------------------- IT'S TIME TO OFFEND EVERYONE Q. What's the Cuban National Anthem? A. Row, Row, Row Your Boat Q. Where does an Irish family go on vacation? A. A different bar Q. What did the Chinese couple name their blonde, curly-haired baby? A. Sum Ting Wong Q. What do you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other? A. A speech impediment Q. What does it mean when the Post Office's flag is flying at half-mast? A. They're hiring Q. Why aren't there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek? A. Because they're not going to work in the future either Q. What do you call a Mississippi farmer with a sheep under each arm? A. A pimp Q. Why do Driver Ed classes in redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays? A. Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it. Q. What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo? A. The southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with a recipe. Q How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the 'F' word? A. Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell 'BINGO!' Q. What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale??? A. A northern fairytale begins, 'Once upon a time...' A southern fairytale begins, 'Y'all ain't gonna' believe this shit.' Q. Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team? A. Because all the Mexicans who can run, jump or swim are already in the United States . ----------------------------------------------------------- THE COUNTRY OF TEXAS Please note that Texas is the only state with a legal right to secede from the Union. (Reference the Texas-American Annexation Treaty of 1848.) We Texans love y'all, but we'll probably have to take action since B. Hussein Obama won the election. We'll miss you too. Here is what can happen: #1: Barack Hussein Obama becomes President of the United States, Texas immediately secedes from the Union. #2: Ross Perot will become the President of the Republic of Texas. So what does Texas have to do to survive as a Republic? 1. NASA is just south of Houston, Texas. We will control the space industry. 2. We refine over 85% of the gasoline in the United States. 3. Defense Industry--we have over 65% of it. The term "Don't mess with Texas," will take on a whole new meaning. 4. Oil - we can supply all the oil that the Republic of Texas will need for the next 300 years. Yankee states? Sorry about that. 5. Natural Gas - again we have all we need and it's too bad about those Northern States. John Kerry will have to figure out a way to keep them warm.... 6. Computer Industry - we currently lead the nation in producing computer chips and communications--small companies like Texas Instruments, Dell Computer, EDS, Raytheon, National Semiconductor, Motorola, Intel, AMD, Atmel, Applied Materials, Ball Miconductor, Dallas Semiconductor, Delphi, Nortel, Alcatel, etc, etc. The list goes on and on. 7. Medical Care - We have the largest research centers for cancer research, the best burn centers and the top trauma units in the world, as well as other large health centers. Dallas and Houston have some of the best hospitals in the United States . 8. We have enough colleges to keep us going: University of Texas, Texas A&M, Texas Tech, Rice, SMU, University of Houston , Baylor, UNT (University of North Texas), Texas Women's University, etc. Ivy grows better in the South anyway. 9. We have a ready supply of workers. We could just open the border when we need some more. 10. We have essential control of the paper industry, plastics, insurance, etc. 11. In case of a foreign invasion, we have the Texas National Guard and the Texas Air National Guard. We don't have an Army, but since everybody down here has at least six rifles and a pile of ammo, we can raise an Army in 24 hours if we need one. If the situation really gets bad, we can always call the Department of Public Safety and ask them to send over Chuck Norris and a couple of Texas Rangers. 12. We are totally self-sufficient in beef, poultry, hogs, and several types of grain, fruit and vegetables, and let's not forget seafood from the Gulf. Also, everybody down here knows how to cook them so that they taste good. Don't need any food. This just names a few of the items that will keep the Republic of Texas in good shape. There isn't a thing out there that we need and don't have. Now to the rest of the United States under President Obama: Since you won't have the refineries to get gas for your cars, only President Obama will be able to drive around in his big 9 mpg SUV. The rest of the United States will have to walk or ride bikes. You won't have any TV as the Space Center in Houston will cut off satellite communications. You won't have any natural gas to heat your homes, but since Mr. Obama has predicted global warming, you will not need the gas as long as you survive the 2000 years it will take to get enough heat from Global Warming. Signed, The People of Texas P.S. This is not a threatening letter - just a note to give you something to think about! ----------------------------------------------------------- SHARE THESE TIPS WITH OTHERS! WHERE TO BUY USA GAS, THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT TO KNOW. READ ON The Saudis are boycotting American goods. We should return the favor. An interesting thought is to boycott their GAS. YOU CAN DO THIS AND STILL DRIVE !!!!! Every time you fill up the car, you can avoid putting more money into the coffers of Saudi Arabia. Just buy from gas companies that don't import their oil from the Saudis. Nothing is more frustrating than the feeling that every time I fill-up the tank, I am sending my money to people who are trying to kill me, my family, and my friends. I thought it might be interesting for you to know which oil companies are the best to buy gas from and which major companies import Middle Eastern oil. These companies import Middle Eastern oil: Shell........................... 205,742,000 barrels Chevron/Texaco......... 144,332,000 barrels Exxon /Mobil................. 130,082,000 barrels Marathon/Speedway.... 117,740,000 barrels Amoco.............................62,231,000 barrels Citgo gas is from South America, from a Dictator who hates Americans. If you do the math at $30/barrel, these imports amount to over $18 BILLION! (oil is now $90 - $100 a barrel Here are some large companies that do not import Middle Eastern oil: Sunoco...........0 barrels Conoco...........0 barrels Sinclair...........0 barrels B P/Phillips.....0 barrels Hess...............0 barrels ARC0...............0 barrels ------------------------------------------- --------------Oil Shortage---------- A lot of folks can't understand how we came to have an oil shortage here in our country. ~~~ Well, there's a very simple answer. ~~~ Nobody bothered to check the oil. ~~~ We just didn't know we were getting low. ~~~ The reason for that is purely geographical.. ~~~ Our OIL is located in ~~~ Alaska ~~~ California ~~~ Texas ~~~ Coastal Florida ~~~ Coastal Louisiana ~~~ Kansas ~~~ Oklahoma ~~~ Pennsylvania and ~~~ Our DIPSTICKS are located in Washington, DC !!! ------------------------------------------- OUR REAL ROOTS: Did you know that 52 of the 55 signers of The Declaration of Independence were orthodox, deeply committed Christians? The other three all believed in the Bible as the divine truth, the God of scripture, and His personal intervention. It is the same congress that formed the American Bible Society. Immediately after creating the Declaration of Independence, the Continental Congress voted to purchase and import 20,000 copies of scripture for the people of this nation. Patrick Henry, who is called the firebrand of the American Revolution, is still remembered for his words, 'Give me liberty or give me death.' But in current textbooks the context of these words is deleted. Here is what he said: 'An appeal to arms and the God of hosts is all that is left us. But we shall not fight our battle alone. There is a just God that presides over the destinies of nations. The battle sir, is not of the strong alone. Is life so dear or peace so sweet as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it almighty God. I know not what course others may take, but as for me, give me liberty, or give me death.' These sentences have been erased from our textbooks. Was Patrick Henry a Christian? The following year, 1776, he wrote this 'It cannot be emphasized too strongly or too often that this great nation was founded not by religionists, but by Christians; not on religion, but on the Gospel of Jesus Christ. For that reason alone, people of other faiths have been afforded freedom of worship here.' Consider these words that Thomas Jefferson wrote on the front of his well- worn Bible: 'I am a Christian, that is to say a disciple of the doctrines of Jesus. I have little doubt that our whole country will soon be rallied to the unity of our Creator and, I hope, to the pure doctrine of Jesus also.' Consider these words from George Washington, the Father of our Nation, in his farewell speech on September 19, 1796: 'It is impossible to govern the world without God and the Bible. Of all the dispositions and habits that lead to political prosperity, our religion and morality are the indispensable supporters. Let us with caution indulge the supposition that morality can be maintained without religion. Reason and experience both forbid us to expect that our national morality can prevail in exclusion of religious principle.' Was George Washington a Christian? Consider these words from his personal prayer book: 'Oh, eternal and everlasting God, direct my thoughts, words and work. Wash away my sins in the immaculate blood of the lamb and purge my heart by the Holy Spirit. Daily, frame me more and more in the likeness of thy son, Jesus Christ, that living in thy fear, and dying in thy favor, I may in thy appointed time obtain the resurrection of the justified unto eternal life. Bless, O Lord, the whole race of mankind and let the world be filled with the knowledge of thy son, Jesus Christ.' Consider these words by John Adams, our second president, who also served as chairman of the American Bible Society. In an address to military leaders he said, 'We have no government armed with the power capable of contending with human passions, unbridled by morality and true religion. Our constitution was made only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other.' How about our first Court Justice, John Jay? He stated that when we select our national leaders, if we are to preserve our Nation, we must select Christians. ' Providence has given to our people the choice of their rulers and it is the duty as well as the privilege and interest of our Christian Nation to select and prefer Christians for their rulers.' John Quincy Adams, son of John Adams, was the sixth U.S. President. He was also the chairman of the American Bible Society, which he considered his highest and most important role. On July 4, 1821, President Adams said, 'The highest glory of the American Revolution was this: it connected in one indissoluble bond the principles of civil government with the principles of Christianity.' Calvin Coolidge, our 30th President of the United States reaffirmed this truth when he wrote, 'The foundations of our society and our government rest so much on the teachings of the Bible that it would be difficult to support them if faith in these teachings would cease to be practically universal in our country.' In 1782, the United States Congress voted this resolution: 'The congress of the United States recommends and approves the Holy Bible for use in all schools.' William Holmes McGuffey is the author of the McGuffey Reader, which was used for over 100 years in our public schools with over 125 million copies sold until it was stopped in 1963. President Lincoln called him the 'Schoolmaster of the Nation.' Listen to these words of Mr. McGuffey: 'The Christian religion is the religion of our country. From it are derived our notions on character of God, on the great moral Governor of the universe. On its doctrines are founded the peculiarities of our free institutions. From no source has the author drawn more conspicuously than from the sacred Scriptures. From all these extracts from the Bible I make no apology.' Of the first 108 universities founded in America , 106 were distinctly Christian, including the first. Harvard University , chartered in 1636. In the original Harvard Student Handbook rule number 1 was that students seeking entrance must know Latin and Greek so that they could study the scriptures: 'Let every student be plainly instructed and earnestly pressed to consider well, the main end of his life and studies is, to know God and Jesus Christ, which is eternal life, John 17:3; and therefore to lay Jesus Christ as the only foundation of all sound knowledge and learning. And seeing the Lord only giveth wisdom, let everyone seriously set himself by prayer in secret to seek it of him (Proverbs 2:3).' For over 100 years, more than 50% of all Harvard graduates were pastors. It is clear from history that the Bible and the Christian faith, were foundational in our educational and judicial system. However in 1947, there was a radical change of direction in the Supreme Court. Here is the prayer that was banished: 'Almighty God, we acknowledge our dependence on Thee. We beg Thy blessings upon us and our parents and our teachers and our country. Amen.' In 1963, the Supreme Court ruled that Bible reading was outlawed as unconstitutional in the public school system. The court offered this justification: 'If portions of the New Testament were read without explanation, they could and have been psychologically harmful to children.' Bible reading was now unconstitutional , though the Bible was quoted 94 percent of the time by those who wrote our constitution and shaped our Nation and its system of education and justice and government. In 1965, the Courts denied as unconstitutional the rights of a student in the public school cafeteria to bow his head and pray audibly for his food. In 1980, Stone vs. Graham outlawed the Ten Commandments in our public schools. The Supreme Court said this: 'If the posted copies of the Ten Commandments were to have any effect at all, it would be to induce school children to read them. And if they read them, meditated upon them, and perhaps venerated and observed them, this is not a permissible objective.' Is it not a permissible objective to allow our children to follow the moral principles of the Ten Commandments? James Madison, the primary author of the Constitution of the United States , said this: 'We have staked the whole future of our new nation, not upon the power of government; far from it. We have staked the future of all our political constitutions upon the capacity of each of ourselves to govern ourselves according to the moral principles of the Ten Commandments.' Today we are asking God to bless America . But how can He bless a Nation that has departed so far from Him? Most of what you read in this article has been erased from our textbooks. Revisionists have rewritten history to remove the truth about our country's Christian roots. I , Mary Jones, the designer of this web page, encourage all who read and agree with the words herein, to share it with others, so that the truth of our nation's history may be told. ----------------------------------------------------------- > > What Is A Veteran? > > A "Veteran" -- whether active duty, discharged, retired, or reserve -- > is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made > payable to "The United States of America," for an amount of "up to, > and including his life." > > That is honor, and there are way too many people in this country > today, who no longer understand that fact. ----------------------------------------------------------- WE THE UNITED STATES ARE ONLY 5% OF THE WORLD POPULATION BUT WE HAVE 75% OF THE WORLD LAWYERS WE ARE A COUNTRY OF LAWS SO HOW CAN WE BE FREE ?? ----------------------------------------------------------- What is a 'Billion'? Now here's a reality check! This is too true to be very funny The next time you hear a politician use the Word 'billion' in a casual manner, think about whether you want 'politicians' spending YOUR tax money. A billion is a difficult number to comprehend, but one advertising agency did a good job of putting that figure into some perspective in one of its releases. A. A billion seconds ago it was 1959. B. A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive. C. A billion hours ago our ancestors were living in the Stone Age. D. A billion days ago no-one walked on the earth on two feet. E. A billion dollars ago was only 8 hours and 20 minutes, at the rate our government is spending it. While this thought is still fresh in our brain, let's take a look at some poetry Tax his land, Tax his wage, Tax his bed in which he lays. Tax his tractor, Tax his mule, Teach him taxes is the rule. Tax his cow, Tax his goat, Tax his pants, Tax his coat. Tax his ties, Tax his shirts, Tax his work, Tax his dirt. Tax his tobacco, Tax his drink, Tax him if he tries to think. Tax his booze, Tax his beers, If he cries, Tax his tears. Tax his bills, Tax his gas, Tax his notes, Tax his cash. Tax him good and let him know That after taxes, he has no dough. If he hollers, Tax him more, Tax him until he's good and sore. Tax his coffin, Tax his grave, Tax the sod in which he lays. Put these words upon his tomb, 'Taxes drove me to my doom!' And when he's gone, We won't relax, We'll still be after the inheritance TAX!! WHAT CAN I SAY IT'S NOT THAT GRAND Accounts Receivable Tax Building Permit Tax CDL License Tax Cigarette Tax Corporate Income Tax Dog License Tax Federal Income Tax Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA) Fishing License Tax Food License Tax Fuel Perm it Tax Gasoline Tax Hunting License Tax Inheritance Tax Inventory Tax IRS Interest Charges (tax on top of tax), IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax), Liquor Tax, Luxury Tax, Marriage License Tax, Medicare Tax, Property Tax, Real Estate Tax, Service charge taxes, Social Security Tax, Road Usage Tax (Truckers), Sales Taxes, Recreational Vehicle Tax, School Tax, State Income Tax, State Unemployment Tax (SUTA), Telephone Federal Excise Tax, Telephone Federal Universal Service Fee Tax, Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge Tax, Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax, Telephone Recurring and Non-recurring Charges Tax, Telephone State and Local Tax, Telephone Usage Charge Tax, Utility Tax, Vehicle License Registration Tax, Vehicle Sales Tax, Watercraft Registration Tax, Well Permit Tax, Workers Compensation Tax. STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY? Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago, And our nation was the most prosperous in the world. We had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class in the world, and Mom stayed home to raise the kids. What happened? Can you spell 'politicians!' I know we call it progress at what a cost and now the cost is going to be life. And I still have to 'press 1' for English. I hope this goes around the USA at least 100 times What the heck happened????? ----------------------------------------------------------- Actual 'Letter to the Editor' from the February 5th edition of the Wichita Falls , Texas Times Record News... Dear IRS, I am sorry to inform you that I will not be able to pay taxes owed April 15, but all is not lost. I have paid these taxes: accounts receivable ta x, building permit tax, CDL tax, cigarette tax, corporate income tax, dog licence tax, federal income tax, unemployment tax, gasoline tax, hunting licence tax, fishing licence tax, waterfowl stamp tax, inheritance tax, inventory tax, liquor tax, luxury tax, medicare tax, city, school and county property tax (up 33 percent last 4 years), real estate tax, social security tax, road usage tax, toll road tax, state and city sales tax, recreational vehicle tax, state franchise tax, state unemployment tax, telephone federal excise tax, telephone federal state and local surcharge tax, telephone minimum usage surcharge tax, telephone state and local tax, utility tax, vehicle licence registration tax, capitol gains tax, lease severance tax, oil and gas assessment tax, Colorado property tax, Texas, Colorado, Wyoming, Oklahoma and New Mexico sales tax, and many more that I can't recall but I have run out of space and money. When you do not receive my check April 15, just know that it is an honest mistake. Please treat me the same way you treated Congressmen Charles Rangle, Chris Dodd, Barney Frank and ex-Congressman Tom Dashelle and, of course, your boss Timothy Geithner. No penalties and no interest. P.S. I will make at least a partial payment as soon as I get my stimulus check. Ed Barnett Wichita Falls ----------------------------------------------------------- redneck jokes We have enjoyed the redneck jokes for years. It's time to take a reflective look at the core beliefs of a culture that values home, family, country and God. If I had to stand before a dozen terrorists who threaten my life, I'd choose a half dozen or so rednecks to back me up. Tire irons, squirrel guns and grit -- that's what rednecks are made of. I hope I am one of those. If you feel the same, pass this on to your redneck friends. Ya'll know who ya' are. ----------------------------------------------------------- YES, I'M A BAD AMERICAN I Am the Liberal-Progressives Worst Nightmare. I am an American that believe the money he maked belongs to him and his family, and not to tax my taxs that was all ready taxed by some Liberal governmental functionary be it Democratic or Republican!They are all the same, ones more tax the other is higher tax either way you pay more, more, more!!!!! That will give billions away to some foreign country .. That money should stay here and help American who needs help up not a hand out!! I'm in touch with my feelings and I like it that way! I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer, it makes you a safe and smart American. I think being a minority does not make you noble or victimized, and does not entitle you to anything more than the majority . I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, do it in English. I'm tired of looking on all my purchase and seeing MADE IN CHINA or some where not here .. I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God when, where and how they want to. you have to swear on a stack of Bible in a court of law but you can't have the ten commandments outside the doors My heroes are John Wayne, Babe Ruth, Roy Rogers, and whoever canceled Jerry Springer. I know wrestling is fake and the government should not be I don't waste my time watching or arguing about them. I've never owned a slave, or was a slave, I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you! So, shut up already. I believe if you don't like the way things are here, go back to where you came from and change your own country ! not mine! This is AMERICA . If you were born here and don't like it change it, stand up for the rights your fathers had in his day. But you are free to move to any Socialist country that this government will let you. Have you got your papers??. I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse Jackson preaches, where he gets his money, and why he is always part of the problem and not the solution. Can I get an AMEN on that one? I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry rear if you're running from them.. And, no, I don't mind having my face shown on my drivers license. after all it is your papers please! Its better than having it tat to on your body !? And I'm proud that "God" is written on my money and not bush. all tho I'm bet he thanks it should.. I think if you are too stupid to know that a ballot dose not work, that the electoral deciding who should be running the new world nation for the next four years. I dislike those people standing in the intersections trying to sell me stuff or trying to guilt me into making "donations" to their pockets. I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes two parents for life.You have to take a test and have a license to drive a car but nothing to have a child . I believe "illegal" is illegal for all no matter what the lawyers think and if the majority of American believe it should be legal then do so ..for the powers to be, having laws that protect me from myself is wrong. I Believe that Innocent men are in prison for no fault of there own . I believe the American flag should be the only one allowed to fly next to your state flag in AMERICA ! If this makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American. If you are a BAD American too, please forward this to everyone you know. We want our country back! The purpose of fighting is to win. There is no possible victory in defense. The sword is more important than the shield, and skill is more important than either. The final weapon is the brain. All else is supplemental. ----------------------------------------------------------- BE PROUD TO BE WHITE This is great. I have been wondering about why Whites are racists, and no other race is....... Proud to be White Michael Richards makes his point............... Michael Richards better known as Kramer from TVs Seinfeld does make a good point. This was his defense speech in court after making racial comments in his comedy act. He makes some very interesting points... Someone finally said it. How many are actually paying attention to this? There are African Americans, Mexican Americans, Asian Americans, Arab Americans, etc. And then there are just Americans. You pass me on the street and sneer in my direction. You call me 'White boy,' 'Cracker,' 'Honkey,' 'Whitey,' 'Caveman'... and that's OK.. But when I call you, Nigger, Kike, Towel head, Sand-nigger, Camel Jockey, Beaner, Gook, or Chink .. You call me a racist. You say that whites commit a lot of violence against you.... so why are the ghettos the most dangerous places to live? You have the United Negro College Fund. You have Martin Luther King Day. You have Black History Month. You have Cesar Chavez Day. You have Yom Hashoah. You have Ma'uled Al-Nabi. You have the NAACP. You have BET.... If we had WET (White Entertainment Television), we'd be racists. If we had a White Pride Day, you would call us racists. If we had White History Month, we'd be racists. If we had any organization for only whites to 'advance' OUR lives, we'd be racists. We have a Hispanic Chamber of Commerce, a Black Chamber of Commerce, and then we just have the plain Chamber of Commerce. Wonder who pays for that?? A white woman could not be in the Miss Black American pageant, but any color can be in the Miss America pageant. If we had a college fund that only gave white students scholarships... You know we'd be racists... There are over 60 openly proclaimed Black Colleges in the US .. Yet if there were 'White colleges', that would be a racist college. In the Million Man March, you believed that you were marching for your race and rights. If we marched for our race and rights, you would call us racists... You are proud to be black, brown, yellow and orange, and you're not afraid to announce it. But when we announce our white pride, you call us racists. You rob us, carjack us, and shoot at us. But, when a white police officer shoots a black gang member or beats up a black drug dealer running from the law and posing a threat to society, you call him a racist.... I am proud... But you call me a racist. Why is it that only whites can be racists?? There is nothing improper about this e-mail.. Let's see which of you are proud enough to send it on.. I sadly don't think many will. That's why we have LOST most of OUR RIGHTS in this country. We won't stand up for ourselves! BE PROUD TO BE WHITE! It's not a crime YET... but getting very close! ----------------------------------------------------------- By Patrick J. Buchanan Barack says we need to have a conversation about race in America . Fair enough. But this time, it has to be a two-way conversation. White America needs to be heard from, not just lectured to... This time, the Silent Majority needs to have its convictions, grievances and demands heard. And among them are these: First, America has been the best country on earth for black folks. It was here that 600,000 black people, brought from Africa in slave ships, grew into a community of 40 million, were introduced to Christian salvation, and reached the greatest levels of freedom and prosperity blacks have ever known. Wright ought to go down on his knees and thank God he is an American. Second, no people anywhere has done more to lift up blacks than white Americans. Untold trillions have been spent since the '2060s on welfare, food stamps, rent supplements, Section 8 housing, Pell grants, student loans, legal services, Medicaid, Earned Income Tax Credits and poverty programs designed to bring the African-American community into the mainstream. Governments, businesses and colleges have engaged in discrimination against white folks -- with affirmative action, contract set-asides and quotas -- to advance black applicants over white applicants. Churches, foundations, civic groups, schools and individuals all over America have donated their time and money to support soup kitchens, adult education, day care, retirement and nursing homes for blacks. We hear the grievances. Where is the gratitude??? Barack talks about new 'ladders of opportunity' for blacks. Let him go to Altoona ? And Johnstown , and ask the white kids in Catholic schools how many were visited lately by Ivy League recruiters handing out scholarships for 'deserving' white kids.? Is white America really responsible for the fact that the crime and incarceration rates for African-Americans are seven times those of white America ? Is it really white America 's fault that illegitimacy in the African-American community has hit 70 percent and the black dropout rate from high schools in some cities has reached 50 percent? Is that the fault of white America or, first and foremost, a failure of the black community itself? As for racism, its ugliest manifestation is in interracial crime, and especially interracial crimes of violence. Is Barack Obama aware that while white criminals choose black victims 3 percent of the time, black criminals choose white victims 45 percent of the time? Is Barack aware that black-on-white rapes are 100 times more common than the reverse, that black-on-white robberies were 139 times as common in the first three years of this decade as the reverse? We have all heard ad nauseam from the Rev. Al about Tawana Brawley, the Duke rape case and Jena . And all turned out to be hoaxes. But about the epidemic of black assaults on whites that are real, we hear nothing. Sorry, Barack, some of us have heard it all before, about 40 years and 40 trillion20tax dollars ago. We are a Christian Nation even if Mr. Obama says we are not. This needs to be passed around because, this is a message everyone needs to hear!!! ----------------------------------------------------------- THE HOUSTON HERALD NEWSPAPER MARCH 5th, 2009 Last Thursday Night Around Midnight, A Woman >From Houston Was Arrested And Charged With Manslaughter For Shooting A Man 6 Times In The Back As He Was Running Away With Her Purse. The Following Monday Morning, The Woman Was Called In Front Of The Arraignment Judge, Sworn In, And Asked To Explain Her Actions. The Woman Replied, "I Was Standing At The Corner Bus Stop For About 15 Minutes, Waiting For The Bus To Take Me Home After Work. I Am A Waitress At A Nearby Cafe... I Was There Alone, So I Had My Right Hand On My Pistol, That Was In My Purse, That Was Hung Over My Left Shoulder. All Of A Sudden I Was Being Spun Around Hard To My Left. As I Caught My Balance, I Saw A Man Running Away With My Purse. I Looked Down At My Right Hand And I Saw That My Fingers Were Wrapped Tightly Around My Pistol. The Next Thing I Remember Is Saying Out Loud, "No Way Punk! You're Not Stealing My Pay Check And Tip Money." I Raised My Right Hand, Pointed My Pistol At The Man Running Away From Me With My Purse, And Squeezed The Trigger Of My Pistol 6 Times! When Asked By The Arraignment Judge, "Why Did You Shoot The Man 6 Times? The Woman Replied Under Oath, "Because, When I Pulled The Trigger Of My Pistol The 7th Time, It Only Went Click." The Woman Was Acquitted Of All Charges. Now that's Gun Control! ----------------------------------------------------------- He Said, I Said He said to me . . . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it. I said to him . . . You wear pants don't you? He said to me . . ..... Shall we try swapping positions tonight? She said . That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart! He said to me. .. What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you? I said to him . .....Turn sideways and look in the mirror! He said to me. ..... Why don't women blink during foreplay? I said to him .. . They don't have time He said to me. . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? I said to him .. . We don't know; it has never happened. He said to me. . Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and Good- looking? I said to him . . . They already have boyfriends. I said...What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? He said. . . A widow. He said to me . .. . Why are married women heavier than single women? I said to him . . . Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge. SEND THIS TO A SMART WOMAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND TO THE GUYS YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT -----------------------------------------------------------  -----------------------------------------------------------  DO YOU KNOW WHO SHE IS ? IF SO LEAVE A COMMENT ronniremington@gmail.com Link Live Well, Love Much, Laugh Often !!! img src="" alt="" />
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