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Only In Alabama
By: mobal, 1:13 PM GMT on July 11, 2012
Only Alabamians will truly understand the humor here. The year is 2024 and the United States has just elected the first woman as President of the United States ..
A few days after the election, the president-elect calls her father in Birmingham and asks, "So, Dad, I assume you will becoming to my inauguration?
"I don't think so. It's a long drive; your mom isn't as young as she used to be, we'll have the dog with us, and my arthritis is acting up in my knee."
"Don't worry about it, Dad, I'll send Air Force One or another support aircraft to pick you up and take you home, and a limousine will pick you up at your door," she said.
"I don't know. Everybody will be so fancy. What would your mother wear?"
"Oh, Dad," she replied, "I'll make sure she has a wonderful gown custom-made by one of the best designers in New York ."
"Honey," Dad complained, "You know we can't eat those rich foods you and your friends like to eat."
The President-elect responded, "Don't worry, Dad. The entire affair is going to be handled by the best caterer in D.C. and I'll ensure your meals are salt-free. Dad, I really want you to come."
So her parents reluctantly agreed, and on January 20, 2024 arrived to see their daughter sworn in as President of the United States .
The parents of the new President are seated in the front row. The President's dad notices a Senator sitting next to him and leans over and whispers, "You see that woman up there with her hand on the Bible, becoming President of the United States ?"
The Senator whispered in reply, "Yes I do."
Dad says proudly,
"Her brother played football at ALABAMA"
By: mobal, 1:01 AM GMT on July 04, 2012
Whistle If You Can
Well, now, take down your fishin' pole and meet me at the fishin' hole,
We may not get a bite all day, but don't you rush away.
What a great place to rest your bones and mighty fine for skippin' stones,
You'll feel fresh as a lemonade, a-settin' in the shade.
Whether it's hot, whether it's cool, oh what a spot for whistlin' like a fool.
What a fine day to take a stroll and wander by the fishin' hole,
I can't think of a better way to pass the time o' day.
We'll have no need to call the roll when we get to the fishin' hole,
There'll be you, me, and Old Dog Trey, to doodle time away.
If we don't hook a perch or bass, we'll cool our toes in dewy grass,
Or else pull up a weed to chaw, and maybe set and jaw.
Hangin' around, takin' our ease, watchin' that hound a-scratchin' at his fleas.
Come on, take down your fishin' pole and meet me at the fishin' hole,
I can't think of a better way to pass the time o' day