By: joealaska , 6:46 AM GMT on December 25, 2012

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Thinking of the parents in Newtown, family of the policemen in Kansas City, the firemen in Rochester, and any late breaking idiocy.

Stay safe everyone...

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house, Not a creature was stirring, except Fluffer yakking up on the couch.

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
Then I realized ACTUALLY there was NO chimney there.

The kitties were all nestled all snug in there beds,
While visions of fox food danced in their heads.
And Fluffer and Dutchie and I took a nap,
Hoping it would be MORE than just a cat nap.

When out on my yard there rose such a clattter,
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
The blinds were already raised, I have no sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Meant little at all to Alaska Joe.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a fifth of Kentucky bourbon and a case of beer.

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I challenged the police for the charges to stick.
More rapid than eagles, his courses they came,
Dutchie and Fluffer were this side of tame.

Now Dasher! Now Comet! Now Prancer and Vixen!
On Comet! On Cupid! On Donner and Blitzen!
To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall!
The CHOW PORCH is open to foxes come all.

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet to the obstacle, mount to the sky.
So up to the house -top the coursers they flew
The scared cats under the bed amounted to two.

And then in a twinkling I heard on the roof,
The sound of eagle claws scraping their proof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around
The grilled meat on the porch was now nicely browned.

Santa was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot.

And his clothes were all tarnished from ashes to foot.

A bundle of toys he had flung on his back
Dutchie jumped out the window and ran into the black.

His eyes how they twinkled! His dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a brow
Juan Ear and Juanita liked to sleep in the snow.

The stump of a pipe he held in his teeth
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a broad face and a little round belly
Let me just say I like raspberry jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old self
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself.
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head
Then the phone rang and stopped him going to bed.

He spoke not a word but went straight to his work,
And filled all his stockings, then turned with a jerk.
And laying his finger aside from his nose,
He knew the never ending labor of Joesโ€™.

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle.
And they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, โ€˜ere we drove all night
Happy Christmas to all, the fox donโ€™t bite.

Have fun with your family!

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12. WunderAlertBot (Admin)
5:08 AM GMT on December 29, 2012
joealaska has created a new entry.
11. happytoberetired
9:43 PM GMT on December 28, 2012
Merry Christmas, Joe!! Hope the New Year brings Peace and Love! Oh come on, who am I kidding!? Peace and Prosperity to you, Joe!!
Member Since: January 29, 2004 Posts: 0 Comments: 267
10. prs
5:37 PM GMT on December 27, 2012
This is great,Joe! Thanks! It puts a smile on everybody's face. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you!

In Dallas we unfortunately had a "touch of Dutch" for Christmas.... a rainy morning followed by snow and high winds in the afternoon and evening that lasted all night. However winds probably wouldn't qualify as high by Dutch standards.
Member Since: July 13, 2003 Posts: 0 Comments: 2
9. dotmom
3:39 AM GMT on December 27, 2012
We missed JoeAlaska!
Member Since: April 3, 2008 Posts: 0 Comments: 1477
8. miyuki
10:28 PM GMT on December 25, 2012
Clapping at the poem Joe, enjoyable read, thank you !!
Merry Christmas !!
Member Since: September 7, 2007 Posts: 0 Comments: 54
7. dotmom
7:28 PM GMT on December 25, 2012
Ho Ho HO! HAPPY HOLIDAYS everyone, even you poet master Jose Alaska!

Peace on Earth, is that too much to ask?
Member Since: April 3, 2008 Posts: 0 Comments: 1477
5. osdianna
4:44 PM GMT on December 25, 2012
Our rain just turned to light, blowing snow!

Nice work on the poem, Joe.
Member Since: March 5, 2009 Posts: 35 Comments: 658
4. bearpaints
4:30 PM GMT on December 25, 2012
Merry Christmas Joe and all Joe's friends. Wishing you the best in 2013 and always! Love the poem and hope everyone but me has snow for Christmas
Member Since: January 15, 2010 Posts: 0 Comments: 269
3. dix608greys
3:20 PM GMT on December 25, 2012
WONDERFUL poem, Joe. Thanks for a Christmas morning smile. :-)
Member Since: July 16, 2005 Posts: 0 Comments: 308
2. Rotty3
1:28 PM GMT on December 25, 2012
Merry Christmas again Joe!
Member Since: January 6, 2005 Posts: 18 Comments: 1619
1. insideuk
8:34 AM GMT on December 25, 2012
When did he find time???
Genius Pud, I'm proud of you!

Member Since: February 28, 2009 Posts: 0 Comments: 1653

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About joealaska

After moving back to the lower 48, I have bought an RV and have been living on the road.

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