Proserpina's WunderBlog |
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| Posted by: Proserpina, 2:27 PM GMT on October 10, 2012 | +2 |
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Everyone stands alone at the heart of the world
pierced by a ray of sunlight,
and suddenly it is evening.
Salvatore Quasimodo
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Little boy: "Did you hear about the 88-year-old man and the 79-year-old lady that got married last week?" Little girl: "Did they throw rice at them?" Little boy: "No, they threw vitamins!"
The older a man gets, the more ways he learns to part his hair. Some men pull what little bit of hair they have around on their head to cover their baldness. However, as a man gets even older, he realizes there are basically only three ways to wear his hair--parted, unparted, and departed.
You're getting old when there's no question in your mind that there's no question in your mind.
An elderly woman was telling her daughter about a date with a 90-year-old man. "Believe it or not, I had to slap his face three times!" said the woman. "Do you mean that old man got fresh with you?" the daughter asked in disgust. "Oh, no!" her mother explained, "I had to keep slapping his face to keep him awake!"
What a great idea for your blogsite at this time of year! It appears we could all use a few good clean yuks and grins right about now. Naturally, Alley has come through with flying colors and left us with plenty of clever chuckles!
Thought I'd add to the fun by posting a cute appropos graphic. Hope it doesn't vanish due to copying rights, as I don't have the time to check it out. I've been accummulating a great many frequent driver miles of late, but glad to have had some continued colorful scenery to view while driving to and from my many appointed rounds.
Just in case, the graphic below says, "It was a terrible summer for Humpty Dumpty, but he had a great fall." May we all have a great seasonal type of fall!
FIY ~ The Robert Frost Farm, on Rt. 28 in Derry, NH, officially closed for the season on Monday, Oct. 8th. When I drove by the day before, or this past Sunday, it was nice to see the parking lot filled with cars and many children playing in its large field. It appears to have had a banner year with plenty of interested tourists stopping by while on vacations or during a recent fall foliage expedition.
Hope you're doing reasonably well and that some of that warmer 65ish weather you're presently experiencing will soon makes its way to us. We've been stuck in the 50's (temps not era), but there's word we could reach 75 degrees one day next week. It can't come too soon, as I already feel the need to thaw out! LOL!
Take care!
Smile :)
There was once a clairvoyant little boy, who could foresee the future. One night while saying his prayers, the little boy was heard to finish, "God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma, goodbye Grandpa." The next day his grandfather dropped dead of a heart attack. A few weeks later, the little boy was praying, "God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, goodbye Grandma." The next day poor grandmother was hit by a bus while crossing the street-she never felt a thing.
A month or so later, the little boy was praying and said. "God bless Mommy, goodbye Daddy." His father panicked. He had himself driven, very carefully and slowly, to work, by an armed guard in an armored security truck he hired. He couldn't concentrate, however, thinking about those words, "Goodbye Daddy." He finally came home early, but very carefully. He was met at the front door by his wife, who said, "What do you think happened today, dear? The most awful thing--the milkman dropped dead on the back porch."
..................................
Adam & Eve had been in the Garden of Eden for a month & Adam didn't seem to understand that one of his purposes there was for procreation. He just wasn't catching on. So God appeared one day & suggested to Adam that he go & give Eve a hug. Adam said "What's a hug?" God told him to go & ask Eve & she would demonstrate it for him. Shortly Adam returned with a smile on his face. In reply to God's query as to how it was, he said that it was great. God then told Adam to go & give Eve a kiss. Adam went through the same routing & this time returned with a huge grin on his face volunteered that it was great. God thought Adam was properly prepared now & told him to go & have sex with Eve. In a very short time, Adam returned with a puzzled frown on his face. God said "How was it?" Adam replied "What's a headache?"
.............................
The Pope had just finished a tour of the East Coast and was taking a limousine to the airport. Having never driven a limo, he asked the chauffeur if he could drive for awhile. Well, the chauffeur didn't have much of a choice, so he climbs in the back of the limo and the Pope takes the wheel. The Pope proceeds onto HWY 95, and starts accelerating to see what the limo could do. He gets to about 90 mph, and suddenly he sees the blue lights of the State Police in his mirror.
He pulls over and the trooper comes to his window. The trooper, seeing who it was, says, "Just a moment please, I need to call in." The trooper calls in and asks for the chief. He tells the chief that he's got a REALLY important person pulled over, and asks how he should handle it.
"It's not Ted Kennedy again is it?" replies the chief.
"No Sir!" replied the trooper, "This guy's more important."
"Is it the Governor?" replied the chief.
"No! Even more important!" replies the trooper.
"Is it the PRESIDENT??? replied the chief.
"No! Even more important!" replies the trooper.
"Well WHO is it?" screams the chief.
"I don't know Sir." replies the trooper, "but he's got the Pope as his chauffeur."
Because the air on its side of the road was fowl! :)
Hope you are doing well!
There were three men on a hill with their watches.
The first man threw his watch down the hill and it broke.
The second man threw his watch down the hill and it broke.
The third man threw his watch down the hill, walked all the way to the bottom, and caught it.
The other two men were puzzled and asked the third man how he did it.
The third man said, "Easy. My watch is 5 minutes slow!"
When I got up this morning it was 36 degrees, a bit chilly. By nine am it was 39 and may go up to 60 today! Great sunny Fall day, and the leaves are definitely falling. Huge job ahead. We already have our dates for leaf collections by the County. Soon we will see the first flakes, I suppose.
Wishing you all a wonderful weekend.
I love that "I let my mind wander and it didn't come back." LOL
When we take our lunch break at work, we have to put up a sign that says "Out to Lunch". It's a strict rule. 1) No one is allowed to interrupt your lunch break with work questions. 2) We're not allowed to 'play' online except at lunch and that sign must be up.
The thing is, I have this feeling that I should have it posted all day long. My brain is usually 'out to lunch' most of the time, anyway! LOL
I first heard the expression when I first started teaching in 1970, it was applied to a counselor. And oh boy, was she ever out to perennial lunch! I have forgotten her name but not her vacant face and actions! Sorry whoever you are.
Good to see you Bug. You do have a funny bone and I love it.
---------------------
There are those who make things happen, those who wait for things to happen, and those who wonder what happened -- unknown
You might think your actions are very small within the large picture of life... - However - Sometimes the present of a grain of sand is more powerful than a steel beam. --redagainPatti (hope you don't mind that I stole this, Patti)
Life isn't about how you survived the storm. It's about how you danced in the rain. -- unknown
-------------------
And here's something for those of us who are frustrated editors.
"Why did the little boy throw the clock out the window?"
"He wanted to see time fly!"
Little did I know, at that age, that most of life would be filled up with either wishing time would fly or wanting to slow it down! ;)
A reader left this link to the old days over on my other blog. It's not exactly funny, but it surely is fun. There are so many things I'd forgotten, but they came back in a flash - the best one was the cigar band "rings". Well, that and hose with a seam. And starched petticoats. The whole thing started because I mentioned Burma Shave signs - that was enough to get the nostalgia train rolling.
I can't believe you're that cool already. I guess I need to get my mind right before I leave for my aunt's house, or I'll show up with shorts and sandals. We're still sitting at 90 degrees, and it seems it's going to be mid-80s for a while yet. It's just so hard to realize we're nearly halfway through October. And then it's November. And then - have you started your Christmas shopping yet? (Oh. Bad me!)
Hope your afternoon is going well. The Texans don't play until tonight, so I'm going to visit around a bit, then get started on a new wordpress post, and save my housecleaning and such for tonight, so I can listen to the radio while I work.
By the way - I just found a new variety of apple in the store. New to me, anyhow. They're called "Aurora". They're a lovely yellow, crisp but not hard and just sweet enough. If you're an apple fan and see some, you might try them. They're a perfect eating apple - as good as my favorite honeycrisp!
Oops, I got carried away. I do miss my literature teaching days.
I also managed to watch the Redskins game yesterday and screamed as I used to years ago when RGIII ran for many yards for a touchdown and then jumped in the lap of some spectators. We have not experienced this much excitement with and for our team for many years!
Kat, love your posts! The first one is so on target! Thank you for stopping by and making us smile.
Shore, good joke! I went to the 'old days' site, interesting. When we lived in Upstate NY the Burma Shave signs were still very popular in that area, it was so much fun to drive along and enjoy those clever signs.
I have not been to the second site you point out but I will.
You still have temps in the 90s? That's horrible! I love the seasonal changes but gradually. Yes, do go see your aunt prepared for colder weather. By the way, it is nice of you to spend time with your aunt.
I will look for the Aurora apples next time I am at the grocery store, thank you for the info.
BC, thank you for the kind words about the blog. I do not have the time nor the energy to research some interesting topic so the lighthearted theme will have to do for now.
I have enjoyed reading all that you posted. My favorite is this quote: 'Life isn't about how you survived the storm. It's about how you danced in the rain.' How true!
GG, one can never overdecorate pets! I love the photo. Did you take it?
"I cannot even imagine where I would be today were it not for that handful of friends who have given me a heart full of joy. Let's face it, friends make life a lot more fun."
Charles R. Swindoll
If you like placing states on a map, try this one
** sorry, had to clean it up. I like to embed links!
I have my kids play this one whenever we are on the computer doing something else and they finish early. One of their tests for the year is to identify on the map and spell every state and capital. This is a great site for practice!
I am lying in bed, having a coffee, watching the news on TV and catching up with my WU friends.
Thank you so much for all your kindness the last week. I am having to learn to be lazy - not something I am used to. But after sleeping for nearly 8 hours last night, I feel so much better than I did yesterday - at least, so far!
You are correct in your assumption of C's mum - it is now her heart, which was ok when she went in, we think!
{{{Have a good day}}}
Ps your blog is not good for my health! I shouldn't be laughing!!! lol
Ever have one of those moments :)
so they were just sitting and 'people watching',
when one nun Said "Oh, look! Is that one of those
old weight and fortune machines way over there?
Oh, I'm going to go see. I love those things!"
She went off across the building and, sure enough,
it was. She stepped up on it, put in a penny and,
in a few seconds a piece of paper came out. It said
YOU ARE A NUN, YOU WEIGH 110 POUNDS AND YOU
ARE ABOUT TO BREAK WIND. This caught the nun
by surprise and made her laugh and she laughed
so hard..well, she did break wind. That made
her laugh even harder.
The second nun saw her friend laughing hysterically,
all alone, and noticed that other people were
looking at her, too, so she rushed across the
room to see what was going on.
"People are staring at you! What is wrong with
you?" she asked.
"Oh, my...you have to try this machine! What a
hoot!" giggled the first nun, handing her friend
a penny.
So, the second nun steps on the scale and puts
the penny in. The paper came out and it said
YOU ARE A NUN, YOU WEIGH 120 POUNDS AND YOU ARE
ABOUT TO BREAK WIND. The got her laughing and,
sure enough, she did, too. That made the first
nun start laughing even harder and pretty soon
they were both laughing harder and harder.
The first nun caught her breath and said "Let's
trick it! Lets both get on!" She pulled out a
penny and they both stepped on the scale, still
giggling. She put in the penny and the little
slip of paper came out and it said, YOU ARE TWO
NUNS, YOUR COMBINED WEIGHT IS 230 POUNDS, AND
YOU'VE BEEN FARTING AROUND SO MUCH, YOU MISSED
YOUR TRAIN!
day with a smile. I may have already told
you that joke. If I did, I hope it makes you
smile again. I have been keeping busy with
paperwork (yech!) and housework (double yech!)
for the last week or so. Still have plenty of
the housework to do..does it ever really end?..
I may have gotten a little behind on it
this Summer, going to the farm more often. It
seems to be taking a LONG time to catch up.
Well, with that being said, I think I'll have
another cup of coffee and think real hard about
getting started. :-D
Have a wonderful day!
My interest in the Chinese culture and the experience of the Chinese in the USA is not a new interest, I have always been fascinated by this ancient culture, the arts, the history.
For about 20 or more years I specialized in Chinese Fine Line Painting, I was pretty good at it (if I say so myself). However after all these years I started to lose interest in this genre of painting and the culture/politics as they are today. My trip to China was fantastic in many ways but I came back a bit angry due to the politics of the Chinese nation and the pervasive anti American attitude I encountered, not just by the officials but the people themselves. After listening for a month to the 'official drivel', I just had to take a vacation from my former interest.
Despite my temporary vacation from Oriental culture, I do enjoy generational novels, and the stories of the immigrants (of most Nations)and their experiences in the USA.
At the moment I am waiting for Koko's groomer. K will be so pretty in a couple of hours!
GG, that's a good trick to remember. I have found myself in this predicament more than once. LOL!
Sandi, how wonderful that you are well enough to visit me and others! Keep resting and you will be fully rejuvenated in no time at all.
So sorry about C's mom. Smoking is a nasty addiction and it does destroy one's health and well-being. I am so proud of my husband who stopped cold the day he had his heart attack a year ago, and my son who has been smoke free for about the same amount of time. He is smart enough to learn from his dad's experience and act accordingly.
NW, you did much better than I at the States game. I could easily fill in the New England states, the states around VA, and the states at the 'edges' of the Country. BUT filling in the center states was a bit of a challenge! Ok, more than a little bit.
Shore, as you can see from my post to NW, I did go to the States site. I discovered that my dementia has been activated, I used to fill in the States in no time at all when my children were little and I taught them similar games. Now it is a 'challenge'.
Karen, I will go visit the site you point out. I need the practice! I sure do.
I too cannot remember jokes, in retelling them I massacre the punchlines! So if I want to remember a joke, I write it down! Mostly I copy and paste from 'funny jokes' sites.
Time for an additional half cup of coffee. And to go say hello to the next door dogs who are barking up a storm. They do love to come to my fence since now and then I toss over a treat or two. Two nights ago they were still barking at midnight! Loudly, very loudly. I went out in my bathrobe to talk to them and yes, give them a treat.
I tried the 'place the states' game and must pat myself on the back. I did very well as mine started with Kansas! All my kids had the states puzzle when they were small so maybe that helped as i remembered doing those time after time with the kids.
Hopefully your area is now enjoying the same beautiful weather we are having now.
Many people know the story of Archimedes running down the street yelling "Eureka", but if you don't, here it is. Archimedes, also known as the Wizard of Syracuse, was a mathematician and the cousin of Hieron II. Hieron had commissioned a golden crown to present to the gods at Delphi. Once the crown was finished, he asked Archimedes to find a way to ensure that the goldsmith had not cheated him and used a cheaper metal on the inside. While sitting in the bathtube in his home in Syracuse, Archimedes came up with the idea of using displacement to prove if the crown was solid gold or not. So excited by his discovery, he jumped out of his bath and ran naked down the streets of Syracuse shouting "Eureka!!!"
Born c. 287 BC
Syracuse, Sicily
Magna Graecia
Died c. 212 BC (aged around 75)
Syracuse
Residence Syracuse, Sicily
Thanks for the contributions on mine!
Much appreciated!
The Archimedes story reminds me of the time...well, nevermind. There are some embarrassing stories you just don't tell!
:o)
Karen, geography is not my best subject. I did just fine when I had to study geography but once the need for a good grade was over, geography became a wee bit of a challenge. I will take a look at your site though, I am never too old to learn!
Rob, as I said on your blog, my imagination is running wild!
Janet, how wonderful that you are good at geography! It is a fun site, isn't it?
Yes, we had a lovely day here. I did not feel well enough to take Koko for a walk but I did stick my head out the door a few times. I need to come by and check out the photos on your blog. It really is a great idea to keep a photographic weather diary.
Hi Kat, I have been thinking about you lately. Glad that all is well. Housework never ends! But one can learn to sit back and let it take care of itself! I no longer feel obligated to have a spic and span house, I do not have the energy. If anyone comes unannounced they get herded in my living room which is never used except for unexpected guests. The reason it is not being used is because when I do invite people, they choose to gravitate to the kitchen and family room. However even I have my limits for a messy house and so I do have a service come to do the heavy cleaning jobs.
No, you had not told me that joke before. Good ending! And I did have a smile on my face as I read it. I'll have to invite Alley to come and read it, I think she will like it too.
I wonder how the debate is coming along. Hubby is downstairs watching it, I have the tv off up here. I am saturated with the same old same old same old... Time to get ready for bed, don earplugs to keep my sanity as the dogs continue to bark and a neighbor's dog is now answering them! A lovely trio of cacophony.
of the debate tonight. I think I got a blister on
my brain. Owwww
I do like the video a lot and yes, I am smiling.
A fat stickman would be called a logger!
So I got up, had a glass of milk and then took them, before returning to bed.
Hope you got some sleep.
Love the video of the cat in the pot! One question? Did it get out, or was a hammer required! lol
Sandi, good morning. So sorry that the dogs' barking reached your area! I am not surprised though, I think they woke up the dead at the cemetery about half a mile away! Seriously, sorry that you forgot the meds. Maybe you can get a little nap today. You have not said anything so I am assuming that you do not have side effects from the pain killers. Unfortunately pain killers make me very sick with nausea.
You know, I have the same question about the cat in the amphora (the pot reminds me of Greek wine and oil containers called amphora), how did she get out?
The dogs finally went quiet at about 3am or a little later. Of course by then I was so riled up that I could not get any decent sleep.
I did do something smart! After I wrote my last note above at 1am, it occurred to me that my neighbor might be following her emails no matter where she is (wonderful new world!), so I wrote her an email telling her about the problem and with a suggestion. She did read my email and did respond twice! She got in touch via email of course, with the caretaker of the dogs and told her to bar the trapdoors at night so the dogs can't get out. I have the same permission as well so if the caretaker doesn't come around I will 'help out'. Problem solved and I never called the animal control on the poor doggies. They are cute and they love to play with me but these are the loudest Beagles I have ever encountered!
LOL, cats raising babies.. My kids had been trying to trap a squirrel for a week, so Monday our cat brought them a baby one~ alive, unharmed. I think she was trying to finish off their lessons in hunting.
What a wonderful story about the your kids, the cat, and the baby squirrel. My first thought is to suggest that you write a children book with this story as the theme. I find it endearing!
So now I must wander about the land and maybe one day I will find it.
I came back home this week from looking westward... just to check if it popped in to Mississippi, but nope, it is not here so I plan to go across the land again in a different direction.
Morning to all of you!!
That explains a lot.
Cute little boogers, but never figured out how such a big noise could come from such a small dog. They don't seem to need much reason either. Might be missing their family.
Happy that it was resolved peacefully, and wishing you a good night's sleep.
As per email conversation, the Beagles were kept inside last night and I finally got some sleep. Blessed be the computer era!
Hubby is getting ready for a gold date and I will be painting today. I actually have a class today, Italian, but I will be skipping it for health reasons.
Oh no Skye! So sorry about the end of the beautiful story! The kittens did what their nature tells them to do, actually there is a different kind of lesson to be learned from the demise of the baby squirrel. Somehow Aesop's fables came to mind.....
Hi Rob. Yes, the Beagles were kept inside last night and I finally got to sleep. Yesterday afternoon I took my Bichon over to socialize with the doggies. I played with the Beagles, and Koko, my aged doggie, was happy marking someone else territory. I will try to do the same today as I know that the Beagles are very lonely.
Any Eureka moments yesterday?
Kat, did you mean to leave your post blank? It is nice to see your icon even without a message.
Good morning Patti, have you recovered from your adventurous trip?
As my DIL says, carry on!
src="http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQp6 CFllyYsIBxEvaiK8PJ6Uu0Qjdo7hyJrVpZ0VmQCTpRkEPPq_J4 TWg">
Huh?
You do find great humorous images. Thank you.
Happy Thursday to you.
Whitewabit has a new avatar, and the title to it is the old classic line "It is better to keep your mouth closed and have people wonder if you are a fool, than it is to open your mouth and remove all doubt." I say, sometimes it's more fun to open your mouth and make a fool of yourself, than it is to keep your mouth closed, and be a lump! :)
Hope you have a good day today!
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