"Are you there, God? It's me, The Punisher..."

By: PalmyraPunishment , 8:41 PM GMT on August 06, 2008

*Static crackling through radio speakers filling the atmosphere with the beatific chaos that comes with finding a radio station that will avoid TalkRadio at 2:30 PM...*

Radio DJ 1: "and currently we're under Partly Sunny skies here in the Susquehanna Valley. 91 degrees for a high, low in the low 60s. Turning cooler for the remainder of the week, and this weekend's highs may not reach the eighties..."

*More static...*

Radio DJ 2: "turning colder in the Valley tonight. Colder for the weekend..."

Radio DJ 3: "Much colder this weekend..."

Radio DJ 4: "Cold."

Radio DJ 5: "Brett Favre just had a cup of soup, Susan..."

Radio DJ 6: "Cold again in the valley..."

*It is at this point, the sound of crackling is replaced by plastic shifting, a click and silence. The ambient noise of the highway in the background -- deafening...*

"Is this what you call Seasonal?"

*These thoughts have filled my mind before. Hell, almost constantly for the past 3 years. Being a snow-owl -- the past few winters in Southeastern Pennsylvania have been nothing short of abysmal. The summers have been off patterned also. Almost as if some higher facilitator is playing games with the atmosphere -- in a crazed attempt to keep people on their toes...*

*I used to think it was just Global Warming. Uneducated, mad at the Weather. It would take everything in me to look past some statistics. "Cyclical" wasn't a word that existed in my vocabulary as far as I was concerned. To a lesser-extent, it still doesn't. What is the reasoning behind the insanity that has been -- the lack of insanity in Pennsylvania weather recently? My head was amassed with bewilderment...*

"I don't like to involve myself in the workings of Higher Powers. However there are a few questions I have for you. The people, they bring me knowledge. Online I have sullivanweather, blizzard92, and others who give me the information. Yet, at times they seem to be just as lost as I. Where did we go wrong technologically? Did we go wrong technologically? I just want to have a better understanding of how things happen. Any knowledge would be appreciated."

"Sincerely, The Punisher."

*It's always been a thrill of mine to route for Natural Disasters. Not so much for the impact on human life and extreme nature of people being placed in Jeopardy -- but just watching Nature/God/Whoever put on the ultimate showcase of their incendiary talents. When Katrina exploded in the Gulf -- part of me was cheering her on. Knowing that she would kill -- I always felt like a co-conspirator to meteorological genocide, but that was my Hurricane. When severe thunderstorms, crippling cold, extreme heat, devastating blizzards or life altering tornadoes come into play, I can't help but be entirely stoked. If for nothing else, than just to watch the show. Sickening, I know. Yet we're all this way. Victims, aren't we all?*

"I just wish the heat would either come and stick around for more than 3 days -- or just go away for good. It's like I'm in a constant defrost state. The oven is hot, the refrigerator is cold. Oh look, I got thrown back into the oven. Holy cow! That's a deep fryer! Even with the heat and instability... Pittsburgh seems to be taking my precious chaos. Maryland, Delmarva, hell Scranton. Who in the world would choose Scranton? Dunder-Mifflin is fictional. No storm would attain honorary status by destroying just a sign. Where's the weather?!?!"

*Today is August 6th. In just 45 or so days -- it will be fall. Fall? In a year without winter -- and now summer. Fall has come again. I guess this is where my quandary becomes enraged. Pennsylvania is an environment that is promised 4 seasons. Yet winter and summer, the 2 extremes have been kidnapped. My money's on their bodies being found somewhere in Aruba next to 3 empty kegs and a box of contraceptives. Fall then Spring. Spring then Fall. "Cyclical?" We're no longer coming full-circle. "Cyclical" has been murdered. We are experiencing nothing more than a see-saw of boring, uninteresting climate. The occasional thunderstorm or dusting of snow, doesn't impress me any more. Honestly, I wonder if it ever has...*

*Childhood provided plenty of extreme. However, like any truly great dream -- it has been slaughtered by Adolescence. And yet here we are... August -- the "dog days of summer" and the only thing that has gone to the dogs -- has been happiness in meteorology.*

"You know, come to think of it. Perhaps everything is cyclical. I was born into a pattern of extremes. I grow up in mediocrity. Knowing my luck -- the extremes will finally return to come back. This is where everything will come full circle -- because when the extremes finally manage to come back. I'll be dead..."


Note: My apologies for this being so long. It may be quite a confusing read -- I just needed to express myself. Thank you.

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3. PalmyraPunishment
2:46 PM GMT on August 07, 2008
thanks, blizz! this has indeed been the most boring summer that I've experienced in my lifetimes. im just hoping this is just a phase, and not a change.

i'm not sure if the la nina pattern would have anything to play into this like it does with winter -- but something has to give!
Member Since: January 31, 2007 Posts: 9 Comments: 2250
2. Zachary Labe
12:24 AM GMT on August 07, 2008
PalmyraPunishment- Really funny blog! Thanks for my mentioning in it! Your are right about a lot. What really struck me was that I have not heard the phrase the dog days of summer used once this year to describe our weather. Just when I though seasonal weather could not get any worse (winter of 2007-2008), then came summer of 2008 which really has been the most boring season I can remember in a long time for our area. Anyways great to see you more active on the site! Have a nice evening!!!
Member Since: December 14, 2007 Posts: 288 Comments: 15213
1. Patrap
9:00 PM GMT on August 06, 2008
Hmmmmmm...Yes ,very Interesting.

Now...Have a Nice ly down on the couch please..

Tell em about your early years..Were you suckled as a Baby?

Now Stop,..quit playing with those matches, there for my Cigars..

Now,.Yes.back to yer childhood Mr. Punisher,,,

Member Since: July 3, 2005 Posts: 438 Comments: 136316

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