Global warming unthaws warrior mermaids and mermen frozen during last ice age

By: Dr. Jeff Masters , 12:49 PM GMT on April 01, 2010

Share this Blog
7
+

Global warming has unthawed an entire race of warrior mermen and mermaids in the Arctic, scientists revealed today. At a packed press conference in Boulder, Colorado, Dr. Mark Xyzzy of the National Institute for Cryosphere Exploration and Tertiary Research on Yetis (NICETRY) revealed the details of the discovery: "We've been operating robot research submarines under the sea ice in the Chukchi Sea north of Barrow, Alaska this winter, as part of International Geophysical Year studies on the dynamics of arctic sea ice loss," commented Dr. Xyzzy. "Last week, one of our submersibles caught a remarkable video of a warrior mermaid, armed with a trident, riding past the submarine on the back of a narwhal. We were able to track the mermaid to her home--an underwater merfolk city at the bottom of the Chukchi Sea. The city had been thawed out in 2005 by warm water currents invading the Arctic due to global warming. These mermaids and mermen had been frozen into the underwater permafrost since the onset of the last ice age, 115,000 years ago. We undertook immediate efforts to establish communications with the merfolk, by sending in divers with underwater writing boards who were able to work out a simple symbol-based language. We learned that the Chukchi Sea merfolk are at war with a tribe of rival merfolk in the Greenland Sea. The two tribes have been fighting a heated underwater battle for dominance of the Arctic Ocean ever since global warming thawed out both tribes in 2005. It is the explosions from their undersea battles that have been the dominant cause of arctic sea ice loss since 2005, not global warming, as had been previously assumed. A team of experienced United Nations negotiators is now in the Arctic, attempting to broker a truce between the rivals and save the arctic sea ice from further destruction."


Figure 1. Merfolk negotiator Urgok Nzgradborkan and an exhausted U.N. diplomat take a break after a grueling all-night round of peace talks.

Critics of climate change science immediately pounced upon the news to unleash a new barrage of criticism against the National Intergovernmental and Territorial Panel to Investigate Climate Change (NITPICC). "The computer climate models used by the NITPICC utterly failed to anticipate the record loss of arctic sea ice due to underwater explosions from merfolk battles," commented spokesman Markoff Chaney of the Very Competitive Free Enterprise Institute. The Institute maintains of staff of top-notch scientists who swear that their funding from the fossil fuel industry does not affect the objectivity of their science. "This new "mermaid-gate" scandal proves that we can't trust climate models to say diddly-squat that's right about global warming, nah-nah-na-nah-nah!" taunted Chaney.

The head of NITPICC, Dr. R. J. Donteventrytopronouncemylastname, conceded that his organization had some work to do. "We're working very hard to incorporate the effect of underwater explosions from merfolk sea battles into the NITPICC models," said Dr. Donteventrytopronouncemylastname. "We've also begun to explore the impacts on sea ice should other denizens of the Arctic unthaw. For instance, the possibility exists that plesiosaurs from the time of the dinosaurs may be frozen in the underwater arctic permafrost. Should global warming thaw out these great leviathans of the deep, the turbulence from their swimming motions could cause significant cracking and breakup of the sea ice. We now have a new plesiosaur parameterization module built into our top models to account for this possibility."

Dr. Xyzzy of NICETRY commented, "I applaud NITPICC's efforts to incorporate their Underwater Merfolk Battle Module and Plesiosaur Parameterization Module into the climate models. However, I caution that they might also need to build modules to simulate the effects of astrology, thermography, ice-nine, and the warming effect of hot air coming out of Washington politicians, before critics of the NITPICC models will be satisfied."

April Fools!

Internet radio appearance today
I'll be appearing with San Francisco-based wunderground meteorologists Shaun Tanner and Tim Roche on The Daily Downpour Internet radio show at 4:20 pm EDT today, to talk about weather, hurricanes, and climate change. There will not be the opportunity to call in today. No foolin'!

Jeff Masters

Reader Comments

Comments will take a few seconds to appear.

Post Your Comments

Please sign in to post comments.

or Join

Not only will you be able to leave comments on this blog, but you'll also have the ability to upload and share your photos in our Wunder Photos section.

Display: 0, 50, 100, 200 Sort: Newest First - Order Posted

Viewing: 260 - 210

Page: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11Blog Index

260. Tropicsweatherpr
8:26 PM GMT on April 01, 2010
A late cold front will move thru Puerto Rico tommorow bringing some showers.It has been above normal in terms of the totals of rainfall on 2010 in San Juan as 15.23 inches has fallen as previous fronts made it here and stalled.
Member Since: April 29, 2009 Posts: 75 Comments: 14344
259. Levi32
8:26 PM GMT on April 01, 2010
Quoting winter123:


Ah, thanks. I'm getting all antsy for this season! I hope we do have something to track mid-april like that model suggested. Or perhaps, a STS pop up out of nowhere (one is trying to form east of carolinas right now, but it's too dry there)


That's because SSTs are way down at 16-18C out there.

Member Since: November 24, 2005 Posts: 635 Comments: 26661
258. Minnemike
8:25 PM GMT on April 01, 2010
Quoting Jeff9641:


This outbreak could be the real deal. As very warm air moved north into Canada. The next next couple of weeks look quite dangerous for the Midwest and south central states.

yeah, the whole thing, from the GOM to Canada seems to be organizing as a single unit. that set-up will be playing itself out on many local scales.. watch out!
Member Since: July 31, 2008 Posts: 0 Comments: 1320
257. FirstCoastMan
8:25 PM GMT on April 01, 2010
Dr. Klotzbach thinks that the upcoming hurricane season will likely be "well above average".
Member Since: August 7, 2009 Posts: 0 Comments: 251
256. winter123
8:22 PM GMT on April 01, 2010
Quoting Levi32:


It's a favorable pre-pattern to set the stage for tropical waves coming off Africa, which is good for the Cape Verde season. This is because a negative NAO means a weaker Azores high which translates to weaker-than-normal trade winds across the eastern Atlantic. This both allows the SSTs to warm up and blows less dust off of Africa.

The pattern in May and June can also sometimes persist through the entire summer, so those months are important times to watch how patterns are evolving to set up the height of the hurricane season.

I'm not sure what to think of the CFS beyond that time-frame through. I have issues with it at the moment.


Ah, thanks. I'm getting all antsy for this season! I hope we do have something to track mid-april like that model suggested. Or perhaps, a STS pop up out of nowhere (one is trying to form east of carolinas right now, but it's too dry there... ha, just realized that's the noreaster from the other day. It's looping back to the west)
Member Since: July 29, 2006 Posts: 28 Comments: 1798
255. BahaHurican
8:19 PM GMT on April 01, 2010
Ah.... I could sit back with a bowl of freshly-made tomato salsa, some multigrain tortilla chips, and an iced coffee or two, myself! Just loving the thought of some free time to surf the blog and the net at will, not to mention the seas at the beach....
Member Since: October 25, 2005 Posts: 19 Comments: 22323
254. BahaHurican
8:17 PM GMT on April 01, 2010
Quoting tornadodude:


we are at 82 right now, hit 80 yesterday, forecasting 86 tomorrow
Hmmm..... Warmer than Nassau Bahamas right now. We've only got 77 right now...
Member Since: October 25, 2005 Posts: 19 Comments: 22323
253. BahaHurican
8:15 PM GMT on April 01, 2010
Afternoon all. Whee!!! Off work both tomorrow (Good Friday) and Monday (Easter Monday)!!! and it looks like the wx will cooperate with "beachable" temps by Monday......

Quoting Jeff9641:


Hey Levi, I've only been on here since November. You guys are like family. I really enjoy this blog except for GW talk.
Oh, u ain't seen "NUTTIN'" yet..... lol Summer is fun....
Member Since: October 25, 2005 Posts: 19 Comments: 22323
252. tornadodude
8:14 PM GMT on April 01, 2010
Quoting Jeff9641:


86 in STL yesterday how warm have you been recently?


we are at 82 right now, hit 80 yesterday, forecasting 86 tomorrow
Member Since: June 28, 2006 Posts: 25 Comments: 8360
251. AwakeInMaryland
8:13 PM GMT on April 01, 2010
Almost forgot... for Auld Lang Syne, my friend...

Member Since: August 19, 2008 Posts: 32 Comments: 1918
Quoting winter123:

Which means...?


It's a favorable pre-pattern to set the stage for tropical waves coming off Africa, which is good for the Cape Verde season. This is because a negative NAO means a weaker Azores high which translates to weaker-than-normal trade winds across the eastern Atlantic. This both allows the SSTs to warm up and blows less dust off of Africa.

The pattern in May and June can also sometimes persist through the entire summer, so those months are important times to watch how patterns are evolving to set up the height of the hurricane season.

I'm not sure what to think of the CFS beyond that time-frame through. I have issues with it at the moment.
Member Since: November 24, 2005 Posts: 635 Comments: 26661
Quoting Jeff9641:


Hey levi, if you don't mind who is stormtop?


BWAHaHaHa! Sorry, Jeff, just bringing up the name cracks me up. Ask T-Dude (if he's still around) for his famous re-post of "Stormtop's Mom" and I think there was StormTop's Dad, too!

Perfect for April Fool's Day! My personal fave although I couldn't breathe for laughing!
Member Since: August 19, 2008 Posts: 32 Comments: 1918
Quoting Jeff9641:


Hey Levi, I've only been on here since November. You guys are like family. I really enjoy this blog except for GW talk.


Yes definitely minus the GW talk. I'm glad you feel that way.
Member Since: November 24, 2005 Posts: 635 Comments: 26661
Quoting Levi32:
The CFS is continuing to forecast a negative NAO over the Atlantic during the May-June-July period.


Which means...?
Member Since: July 29, 2006 Posts: 28 Comments: 1798
Quoting twhcracker:


i get up in the middle of the night to drink coffee :) the withdrawal headaches wake me up...


this time of year I tend to go after the iced coffees :)
Member Since: June 28, 2006 Posts: 25 Comments: 8360
Quoting tornadodude:


haha yeah me too


i get up in the middle of the night to drink coffee :) the withdrawal headaches wake me up...
Member Since: Posts: Comments:
241. ryang
Quoting Jeff9641:


Yes, correct the caribbean is going to start lighting up with thunderstorm activity as I stated last week in about 8 to 10 days. Again certain weather patterns that are building is supporting my idea of early season activity.


That would be very welcomed. Trinidad hasn't had a drop of rain since sometime in February. Also, temperatures there having been ''topping'' 34 C for over a month now....
Member Since: Posts: Comments:
Quoting Jeff9641:


Hey levi, if you don't mind who is stormtop?


Oh nevermind then I forgot you probably haven't been here long enough to know lol.
Member Since: November 24, 2005 Posts: 635 Comments: 26661
238. RM706
Time for the show... http://www.wunderground.com/wxradio/wubroadcast.html
Member Since: Posts: Comments:
Quoting Drakoen:


Saw that but the graphics you posted for the 500mb anomalies show a positive NAO for August and September.


Yeah, but I'm struggling with that forecast at the moment. The analogs had a lot more blocking over eastern Canada and very warm summers for the CONUS. The CFS is going against that and the other global models as well right now.

Member Since: November 24, 2005 Posts: 635 Comments: 26661
Quoting Levi32:
The CFS is continuing to forecast a negative NAO over the Atlantic during the May-June-July period.



Saw that but the graphics you posted for the 500mb anomalies show a positive NAO for August and September.
Member Since: Posts: Comments:
Quoting StormW:
Good afternoon!

I didn't get a chance to post an update on the conference yesterday...have a lot going on at night with getting ready for our concert at church. I will have plenty to post though, once I get time. Let's just say that Jack Beven pretty much clarified about naming systems, and why the NJ storm last season didn't get classified as subtropical.


Hey Storm. I'll be interested to see what Jack had to say on the naming process.
Member Since: November 24, 2005 Posts: 635 Comments: 26661
Quoting CybrTeddy:


what about the system in May that was classed as '90L', that should have been a TS too?

I think so and back when um... wow forget his username but he used to be a featured blogger with Jeff... was here he thought so too. It was no less tropical than Grace.
Member Since: July 29, 2006 Posts: 28 Comments: 1798
The CFS is continuing to forecast a negative NAO over the Atlantic during the May-June-July period.

Member Since: November 24, 2005 Posts: 635 Comments: 26661
Quoting StormW:
Good afternoon!

I didn't get a chance to post an update on the conference yesterday...have a lot going on at night with getting ready for our concert at church. I will have plenty to post though, once I get time. Let's just say that Jack Beven pretty much clarified about naming systems, and why the NJ storm last season didn't get classified as subtropical.


what about the system in May that was classed as '90L', that should have been a TS too?
Member Since: July 8, 2005 Posts: 259 Comments: 24199
forgive my amateurish and non-tropical statement, but looking at the current CONUS water vapor loop it appears a vigorous severe outbreak is setting up. i know i've seen plenty by way of forecasts and models posted here.. just adding 2 cents from the eyes of a weather layman...
Member Since: July 31, 2008 Posts: 0 Comments: 1320
Quoting Jeff9641:


Yes, correct the caribbean is going to start lighting up with thunderstorm activity as I stated last week in about 8 to 10 days. Again certain weather patterns that are building is supporting my idea of early season activity.

Once the ITCZ pushes north, as it normally starts to do around this time of year, storms will fire off.
Member Since: Posts: Comments:
Quoting Jeff9641:


Yes, correct the caribbean is going to start lighting up with thunderstorm activity as I stated last week in about 8 to 10 days. Again certain weather patterns that are building is supporting my idea of early season activity.

This past few days the thunderstorm-potential type cloudiness has been slowly increasing somewhat here in Cayman. After a very long dry spell, definately a change on the way, from what we have been having the past few months
Member Since: Posts: Comments:
Quoting presslord:
saying Florida is likely to get disproportionate tropical activity ain't exactly the most skillful thing....just glance at a cheap map...


Not to mention it sticks out like a sore thumb.lol

I mean it's a landmass that sticks out 400 miles into the GOM and Atlantic.

Joe Bastardi probably has had to many steroids.j/k
Member Since: Posts: Comments:
Quoting Jeff9641:


Remember you guys were busting my chops last night well it looks like again someone will be eating crow. There is more to weather than looking at a model you have to understand what would cause this to happen down the road and I think that is the problem with some people on here. Pattern will become very favorable well before June for tropical activity. Water temps should be around 80 come late May.
Quoting Jeff9641:


Yes, correct the caribbean is going to start lighting up with thunderstorm activity as I stated last week in about 8 to 10 days. Again certain weather patterns that are building is supporting my idea of early season activity.


Just try to avoid sounding like Stormtop like you did in those 2 posts.. I believe I told you this once before. Acting like you're the only one who's in touch with what's going on won't get you any fans. For the record I don't think there's a single person in here that has been heavily downcasting early-season activity. We were all in agreement on this already before you offered your opinion.
Member Since: November 24, 2005 Posts: 635 Comments: 26661
...actually...it's mostly about geography...
Member Since: Posts: Comments:
Quoting Jeff9641:


It's all about the weather patterns and how they setup. This is common after an El-Nino not always true but common.

I think what press was referring to is that considering how Florida sticks out into tropical waters like a sore thumb... it is rather obvious that FL is at risk for tropical storms and such.
Member Since: Posts: Comments:
Quoting Jeff9641:


If there is anything at that point it would be sub-tropical but come mid to late May we may have something good coming up at us here in Florida. Good meaning a healthy TS.


Yeah, and nobody is denying that there may be a threat in May. After all we've had a named storm in May for the last 3 years in a row, although only one of them was of truly tropical breeding in the Caribbean.
Member Since: November 24, 2005 Posts: 635 Comments: 26661
saying Florida is likely to get disproportionate tropical activity ain't exactly the most skillful thing....just glance at a cheap map...
Member Since: Posts: Comments:
If the long range GFS holds. It looks like Pottery may get some rain.
Member Since: Posts: Comments:
Member Since: June 28, 2006 Posts: 25 Comments: 8360
Quoting Jeff9641:


Remember you guys were busting my chops last night well it looks like again someone will be eating crow. There is more to weather than looking at a model you have to understand what would cause this to happen down the road and I think that is the problem with some people on here. Pattern will become very favorable well before June for tropical activity. Water temps should be around 80 come late May.


I can't tell if you're agreeing with Ryan that the GFS may be seeing something, or if you're just stating the same thing you said yesterday about the month of May. I don't think anyone here is dismissing the possibility of pre-June development.
Member Since: November 24, 2005 Posts: 635 Comments: 26661
Paul just won't die! Insane shear and been over land for many days, but it's still recognizable feature. It'll probably loop around that high to come back and hit the same areas again! I'm not wishing pain on people but it's storms like this that make storm tracking interesting for me.
Member Since: July 29, 2006 Posts: 28 Comments: 1798
is it rainy season for northwest? They're just getting hammered next 10 days.


Here in central NY state, it hasnt broken 45 for almost a week, and rained most days. But today and for the next 3 days, sunny and 75-85 degrees! Potentially record highs all days!
Member Since: July 29, 2006 Posts: 28 Comments: 1798
Quoting Levi32:
Seasonal changes will start to begin in earnest though this month. Notice how much farther north the 200mb 30-knot wind isotach is by mid-April, indicating the subtropical jet beginning to retreat northward for the coming summer, and the equatorial ridge beginning to expand northward in its wake.

GFS 0-hour Initial Conditions 200mb heights/winds:



GFS 384-hour 16-day Forecast 200mb heights/winds:



Looks like the winds of change are blowin'...
Member Since: Posts: Comments:

Viewing: 260 - 210

Page: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11Blog Index

Top of Page

About

Jeff co-founded the Weather Underground in 1995 while working on his Ph.D. He flew with the NOAA Hurricane Hunters from 1986-1990.