Global warming unthaws warrior mermaids and mermen frozen during last ice age

By: Dr. Jeff Masters , 12:49 PM GMT on April 01, 2010

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Global warming has unthawed an entire race of warrior mermen and mermaids in the Arctic, scientists revealed today. At a packed press conference in Boulder, Colorado, Dr. Mark Xyzzy of the National Institute for Cryosphere Exploration and Tertiary Research on Yetis (NICETRY) revealed the details of the discovery: "We've been operating robot research submarines under the sea ice in the Chukchi Sea north of Barrow, Alaska this winter, as part of International Geophysical Year studies on the dynamics of arctic sea ice loss," commented Dr. Xyzzy. "Last week, one of our submersibles caught a remarkable video of a warrior mermaid, armed with a trident, riding past the submarine on the back of a narwhal. We were able to track the mermaid to her home--an underwater merfolk city at the bottom of the Chukchi Sea. The city had been thawed out in 2005 by warm water currents invading the Arctic due to global warming. These mermaids and mermen had been frozen into the underwater permafrost since the onset of the last ice age, 115,000 years ago. We undertook immediate efforts to establish communications with the merfolk, by sending in divers with underwater writing boards who were able to work out a simple symbol-based language. We learned that the Chukchi Sea merfolk are at war with a tribe of rival merfolk in the Greenland Sea. The two tribes have been fighting a heated underwater battle for dominance of the Arctic Ocean ever since global warming thawed out both tribes in 2005. It is the explosions from their undersea battles that have been the dominant cause of arctic sea ice loss since 2005, not global warming, as had been previously assumed. A team of experienced United Nations negotiators is now in the Arctic, attempting to broker a truce between the rivals and save the arctic sea ice from further destruction."


Figure 1. Merfolk negotiator Urgok Nzgradborkan and an exhausted U.N. diplomat take a break after a grueling all-night round of peace talks.

Critics of climate change science immediately pounced upon the news to unleash a new barrage of criticism against the National Intergovernmental and Territorial Panel to Investigate Climate Change (NITPICC). "The computer climate models used by the NITPICC utterly failed to anticipate the record loss of arctic sea ice due to underwater explosions from merfolk battles," commented spokesman Markoff Chaney of the Very Competitive Free Enterprise Institute. The Institute maintains of staff of top-notch scientists who swear that their funding from the fossil fuel industry does not affect the objectivity of their science. "This new "mermaid-gate" scandal proves that we can't trust climate models to say diddly-squat that's right about global warming, nah-nah-na-nah-nah!" taunted Chaney.

The head of NITPICC, Dr. R. J. Donteventrytopronouncemylastname, conceded that his organization had some work to do. "We're working very hard to incorporate the effect of underwater explosions from merfolk sea battles into the NITPICC models," said Dr. Donteventrytopronouncemylastname. "We've also begun to explore the impacts on sea ice should other denizens of the Arctic unthaw. For instance, the possibility exists that plesiosaurs from the time of the dinosaurs may be frozen in the underwater arctic permafrost. Should global warming thaw out these great leviathans of the deep, the turbulence from their swimming motions could cause significant cracking and breakup of the sea ice. We now have a new plesiosaur parameterization module built into our top models to account for this possibility."

Dr. Xyzzy of NICETRY commented, "I applaud NITPICC's efforts to incorporate their Underwater Merfolk Battle Module and Plesiosaur Parameterization Module into the climate models. However, I caution that they might also need to build modules to simulate the effects of astrology, thermography, ice-nine, and the warming effect of hot air coming out of Washington politicians, before critics of the NITPICC models will be satisfied."

April Fools!

Internet radio appearance today
I'll be appearing with San Francisco-based wunderground meteorologists Shaun Tanner and Tim Roche on The Daily Downpour Internet radio show at 4:20 pm EDT today, to talk about weather, hurricanes, and climate change. There will not be the opportunity to call in today. No foolin'!

Jeff Masters

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Member Since: September 30, 2007 Posts: 9 Comments: 15961
Quoting PrettyLove23:
Ahahaha............A Masterpiece!

Long time no see, How you been?
Member Since: September 30, 2007 Posts: 9 Comments: 15961
FLOOD WARNING FOR THE NICHOLSON RIVER AND ADJACENT CATCHMENTS
Issued at 9:21 AM on Friday the 2nd of April 2010
by the Bureau of Meteorology, Brisbane.


Heavy rain associated with Ex Tropical Cyclone Paul has led to fast rises in the
Nicholson catchment overnight with minor to moderate flooding expected. Further
rises are likely over the weekend. Rainfall is expected to move into the
Leichardt catchment during Friday where river rises are likely with possible
minor to moderate flooding.

Rainfall totals to 9am Friday include 237mm at Burketown, 185mm at Escott
Station, 121mm at Century Mine and 119mm at Gregory Downs.


Next Issue:

The next warning will be issued by 10am on Saturday.

Member Since: September 30, 2007 Posts: 9 Comments: 15961
Ahahaha............A Masterpiece!
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HIGH SEAS WEATHER WARNING FOR METAREA 10 ISSUED BY THE
AUSTRALIAN BUREAU OF METEOROLOGY TROPICAL CYCLONE WARNING CENTRE PERTH
AT 1307UTC 2 APRIL 2010

STORM FORCE WIND WARNING

Please be aware, wind gusts can be a further 40 percent stronger than the
averages given here, and maximum waves may be up to twice the height.

SITUATION
At 1200 UTC a tropical low was centred within 30 nautical miles of
latitude eleven decimal six south (11.6S)
longitude ninety two decimal three east (92.3E)
Recent movement : south southwest at 6 knots
Maximum winds : 30 knots
Central pressure: 1000 hPa
The low may develop into a tropical cyclone in the next 6 to 18 hours.

AREA AFFECTED

Within 120 nautical miles in the southwest quadrant, and then within 90
nautical miles of centre in remaining quadrants from 0000 UTC 03 April.

FORECAST
Maximum winds to 30 knots near the centre increasing to 50 knots by 0000 UTC 03
April.

Winds above 48 knots within 25 nautical miles of centre with very rough to high
seas and moderate to heavy swell by 1200 UTC 03 April.

Winds 25/35 knots within 120 nautical miles of centre in the southwest quadrant
with rough seas and moderate swell, increasing to 30/40 knots and extending to
within 90 nautical miles in remaining quadrants by 0000 UTC 03 April.


Forecast positions
At 0000 UTC 03 April: Within 60 nautical miles of 12.7 south 92.3 east
Central pressure 995 hPa.
Winds to 40 knots near centre.
At 1200 UTC 03 April: Within 90 nautical miles of 13.5 south 92.4 east
Central pressure 988 hPa.
Winds to 50 knots near centre.

REMARKS
All ships in the area please send weather reports every three hours.
Regular weather observing ships use normal channels.
Other ships please use either email to tcwcwa@bom.gov.au or fax to +61892632261
or satellite to SAC 1241 through Land Earth Station Perth 312.

Next warning will be issued by 1900 UTC 02 April 2010.


TROPICAL CYCLONE TECHNICAL BULLETIN: AUSTRALIA - WESTERN REGION
Issued by PERTH TROPICAL CYCLONE WARNING CENTRE
at: 0831 UTC 02/04/2010
Name: Tropical Low
Identifier: 12U
Data At: 0600 UTC
Latitude: 11.0S
Longitude: 92.3E
Location Accuracy: within 30 nm [55 km]
Movement Towards: southwest [224 deg]
Speed of Movement: 6 knots [11 km/h]
Maximum 10-Minute Wind: 30 knots [55 km/h]
Maximum 3-Second Wind Gust: 45 knots [85 km/h]
Central Pressure: 1000 hPa
Radius of 34-knot winds NE quadrant:
Radius of 34-knot winds SE quadrant:
Radius of 34-knot winds SW quadrant:
Radius of 34-knot winds NW quadrant:
Radius of 48-knot winds NE quadrant:
Radius of 48-knot winds SE quadrant:
Radius of 48-knot winds SW quadrant:
Radius of 48-knot winds NW quadrant:
Radius of 64-knot winds:
Radius of Maximum Winds: N/A
Dvorak Intensity Code: T2.5/2.5/D1.0/24HRS
Pressure of outermost isobar: 1006 hPa
Radius of outermost closed isobar: 150 nm [280 km]
Storm Depth: Medium
FORECAST DATA
Date/Time : Location : Loc. Accuracy: Max Wind : Central Pressure
[UTC] : degrees : nm [km]: knots[km/h]: hPa
+12: 02/1800: 11.9S 92.1E: 060 [110]: 035 [065]: 997
+24: 03/0600: 12.5S 92.0E: 090 [165]: 040 [075]: 994
+36: 03/1800: 13.1S 92.0E: 120 [225]: 050 [095]: 988
+48: 04/0600: 13.8S 92.1E: 155 [285]: 060 [110]: 981
+60: 04/1800: 14.6S 92.3E: 200 [375]: 060 [110]: 981
+72: 05/0600: 15.3S 93.1E: 250 [465]: 060 [110]: 981
REMARKS:
Deep convection has improved near and west of the low level circulation centre
in the past 18 hours, despite ongoing moderate to strong easterly vertical wind
shear in excess of 30 knots. Ascat images indicate 30 knot winds in the
southwestern quadrant [downshear].

Dvorak DT=2.5 based on -0.4 wrap on curved band [although shear pattern could
even suggest a 3.0 possible]. MET/PAT agree.

Given the persisting deep convection with very cold cloud tops through the day,
further intensification expected especially as the low moves to the south
southwest into a zone of lower wind shear. Tropical cyclone intensity is hence
expected during the overnight period [although a region of 35 knots in the
southwestern quadrant is likely from now on]. Steering flow remains light with a
ridge remaining weak in the forecast period. Slow south southwesterly movent is
forecast. On Sunday a strengthening mid-level trough to the south may help to
deepen the system and move it to the south southeast keeping the system east of
90E within the Australian region.

Copyright Commonwealth of Australia
==
The next bulletin for this system will be issued by: 02/1300 UTC by Perth TCWC.
Member Since: September 30, 2007 Posts: 9 Comments: 15961
Great Hurricane Blowout
Member Since: September 30, 2007 Posts: 9 Comments: 15961
Neat game at link below where you can play with the highs,lows and hurricanes in terms of the different tracks.

Link
Member Since: April 29, 2009 Posts: 75 Comments: 14545
Thanks Dr. Masters for a great laugh.
The AWRA Specialty Conference in Orlando was great!
I'm looking forward to doing some of the time mapping demonstrated by Rick of NOAA there.
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Quoting leftovers:
mission is to find the manta rays weather is important http://www.wunderground.com/cgi-bin/findweather/getForecast?query=32922 bright and sunny the rays hopefully will pop up in the afternoon trying to get warm under them lies the cobias


cobia, good catchin' better eatin' mm mm
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mission is to find the manta rays weather is important http://www.wunderground.com/cgi-bin/findweather/getForecast?query=32922 bright and sunny the rays hopefully will pop up in the afternoon trying to get warm under them lies the cobias
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449. barbamz -- LOL! Thanks for posting that. The stereotype of the Danes is that they don't have a sense of humor, but that is VERY funny and clever national gag.
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Postscript from Copenhagen to the fool's post of Dr. Masters.

Report/afp
Copenhagen - A skeleton briefly sat in for Copenhagen's beloved Little Mermaid, who left her spot in the harbour last week for China, the museum behind the April Fool's prank said Thursday.

"Copenhagen will be deprived of its Little Mermaid for six months, and we thought we should replace it. It's April Fools, after all!" Hanne Strager, the head of exhibitions at the Natural History Museum of Denmark, said.

The replacement - which even had a skeleton fish tail - was placed in the same position as the Little Mermaid and sat in her vacant spot for two hours, to the delight of tourists.
"Half of the mermaid was built with a human skeleton, and the other with a swordfish" tail, Strager said.

"Many passers-by thought it was really funny and jumped in front of the mermaid to have their pictures taken," she added.

The real Little Mermaid statue left Copenhagen last week to be the centrepiece of the Danish pavilion at the 2010 World Expo in Shanghai until October 31.

It was the first time the iconic sculpture left her perch at the entry of the Copenhagen harbour since she was placed there almost a century ago.

Her skeleton replacement was introduced to the media in a prank statement that said the Little Mermaid "had returned".

The statement claimed it was the only remaining complete skeleton of a "Hydronymphus pesci", a species said to be extinct since the end of the 17th century.

It claimed to have acquired the remains at the beginning of the 18th century, and that the only other skeleton of the specimen, in Saint Petersburg's Hermitage museum, was "not as complete as Copenhagen's" because of its missing tail.

After basking in the Copenhagen sun for two hours, the fake skeleton was returned to the museum where it would be displayed during the Easter holidays, Strager said.

The Little Mermaid statue is based on a character in an 1837 fairytale by author Hans Christian Andersen about a half-human half-fish legendary creature in love with a human.

Edvard Eriksen's 1913 sculpture, measuring 125 centimetres (50 inches) and weighing 175 kilos (385 pounds), is considered a national treasure and one of the main tourist attractions in Denmark. - Sapa-AFP
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Quoting leftovers:
on a mission to check the water tempertures offshore cape canaveral maybe catch a fish too tgif


Out of curiosity, why are you on a mission to check the water temps off Cape Canaveral?
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on a mission to check the water tempertures offshore cape canaveral maybe catch a fish too tgif
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446. HadesGodWyvern (Mod)
At 6:00 AM UTC, Tropical Low (1000 hPa) located at 11.0S 92.3E has 10 minute sustained winds of 30 knots with gusts of 45 knots. The low is reported as moving southwest at 6 knots.

Dvorak Intensity: T2.5/2.5/D1.0/24HRS

The tropical low was located in the Indian Ocean about 510 kilometres west northwest of Cocos Island. The low may develop into a Tropical Cyclone on Saturday but is not expected to affect Island or coastal communities.

Forecast and Intensity
===========================
12 HRS: 11.9S 92.1E - 35 knots (CAT 1)
24 HRS: 12.5S 92.0E - 40 knots (CAT 1)
48 HRS: 13.8S 92.1E - 60 knots (CAT 2)
72 HRS: 15.3S 93.1E - 60 knots (CAT 2)

Additional Information
=========================
Deep convection has improved near and west of the low level circulation centre in the past 18 hours, despite ongoing moderate to strong easterly vertical wind shear in excess of 30 knots. Ascat images indicate 30 knot winds in the southwestern quadrant [downshear].

Dvorak DT=2.5 based on -0.4 wrap on curved band [although shear pattern could even suggest a 3.0 possible]. MET/PAT agree.

Given the persisting deep convection with very cold cloud tops through the day, further intensification expected especially as the low moves to the south southwest into a zone of lower wind shear. Tropical cyclone intensity is hence expected during the overnight period [although a region of 35 knots in the southwestern quadrant is likely from now on]. Steering flow remains light with a ridge remaining weak in the forecast period. Slow south southwesterly movent is forecast. On Sunday a strengthening mid-level trough to the south may help to deepen the system and move it to the south southeast keeping the system east of 90E within the Australian region.
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Sea ice now right on top of the 2003 line.



Goodnight all.

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444. xcool
good site
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Some of my favorite SST maps are from the RSS Satellite site. They give great detail.



This is the TMI and AMSR-E instruments combined.

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Quoting Drakoen:


Yea noticed that one too lol =]

I think I like these graphics more than the ones at the CPC and the OSDPD


Well the TAO buoy network has t-depth cross-sections for the Pacific to monitor El Nino, and the ECMWF SST maps are not made from satellite data, whereas the OSDPD anomaly maps are. It depends how much you like satellite data compared to surface obs.
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Quoting Levi32:


Yup, global cross-section depth too:



Yea noticed that one too lol =]

I think I like these graphics more than the ones at the CPC and the OSDPD
Member Since: October 28, 2006 Posts: 57 Comments: 30601
Quoting Drakoen:
Found another cool graphic from the ECMWF website. They give out SST anomalies daily:



Yup, global cross-section depth too:

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Found another cool graphic from the ECMWF website. They give out SST anomalies daily:



Also daily zonal sections:

Member Since: October 28, 2006 Posts: 57 Comments: 30601
Quoting Drakoen:


Not sure if I would call the ECMWF the king as the GFS has often times proven to being capable of sniff out systems well in advance while the ECMWF, at times, can be conservative.

My reference to liking the ECMWF was mostly based on its accuracy in seasonal forecasting. I only think the ECMWF has a very slight edge over the GFS with tropical cyclone forecasting. At times the models seem to take turns owning the crown (so to speak).


I suppose that's true. The ECMWF is nearly impossible to beat though once it's locked onto an Atlantic hurricane for 3-4 days in a row.

And the Euro is definitely king in the eastern Pacific though. It's deadly accurate with the storms out there.
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Quoting Levi32:


The Euro has always been my favorite. The U.S. models have always seemed to have more issues. The GFS can beat the ECMWF in short-range occasionally (except in tropical cyclone tracks and development), but the Euro is king of medium-long range, seasonal, and tropical forecasts.


Not sure if I would call the ECMWF the king as the GFS has often times proven to being capable of sniff out systems well in advance while the ECMWF, at times, can be conservative.

My reference to liking the ECMWF was mostly based on its accuracy in seasonal forecasting. I only think the ECMWF has a very slight edge over the GFS with tropical cyclone forecasting. At times the models seem to take turns owning the crown (so to speak).
Member Since: October 28, 2006 Posts: 57 Comments: 30601
Quoting Levi32:


The Euro has always been my favorite. The U.S. models have always seemed to have more issues. The GFS can beat the ECMWF in short-range occasionally (except in tropical cyclone tracks and development), but the Euro is king of medium-long range, seasonal, and tropical forecasts.


I bet its nice to have Hi-Resolution ECMWF graphics.
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435. xcool



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Quoting Drakoen:


Yea, definitely would be nice to have but I bet it cost an arm and a leg lol

It's too badyou don't get access to that in Accuweather Pro though...

I've come to prefer the ECMWF greatly over the CFS in recent years.


The Euro has always been my favorite. The U.S. models have always seemed to have more issues. The GFS can beat the ECMWF in short-range occasionally (except in tropical cyclone tracks and development), but the Euro is king of medium-long range, seasonal, and tropical forecasts.
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Quoting Drakoen:


Yea, definitely would be nice to have but I bet it cost an arm and a leg lol

It's too badyou don't get access to that in Accuweather Pro though...

I've come to prefer the ECMWF greatly over the CFS in recent years.


If only its graphics were accessible.
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Quoting Levi32:


Yes I just discovered the EPS graphics on there today. Definitely nice to see. The one thing I'd really like to have access to though is the European Ensemble Weeklies, which give weekly average ensemble forecasts to 4 weeks out. Joe Bastardi uses them all the time in his videos but the average guys like us can't get access.

From what I've seen on JB's videos, the Euro ensembles are forecasting major warmth over the CONUS this month, contrasting utterly with the CFS's forecast for extensive cold.


Makes since after reviewing your Hurricane Analog Year analysis.
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Quoting Levi32:


Yes I just discovered the EPS graphics on there today. Definitely nice to see. The one thing I'd really like to have access to though is the European Ensemble Weeklies, which give weekly average ensemble forecasts to 4 weeks out. Joe Bastardi uses them all the time in his videos but the average guys like us can't get access.

From what I've seen on JB's videos, the Euro ensembles are forecasting major warmth over the CONUS this month, contrasting utterly with the CFS's forecast for extensive cold.


Yea, definitely would be nice to have but I bet it cost an arm and a leg lol

It's too badyou don't get access to that in Accuweather Pro though...

I've come to prefer the ECMWF greatly over the CFS in recent years.
Member Since: October 28, 2006 Posts: 57 Comments: 30601
Quoting Drakoen:
I'm really glad the ECMWF office has let out more graphics from its model like the EPS.


Yes I just discovered the EPS graphics on there today. Definitely nice to see. The one thing I'd really like to have access to though is the European Ensemble Weeklies, which give weekly average ensemble forecasts to 4 weeks out. Joe Bastardi uses them all the time in his videos but the average guys like us can't get access.

From what I've seen on JB's videos, the Euro ensembles are forecasting major warmth over the CONUS this month, contrasting utterly with the CFS's forecast for extensive cold.
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I'm really glad the ECMWF office has let out more graphics from its model like the EPS.
Member Since: October 28, 2006 Posts: 57 Comments: 30601
Amazing footage of the High Point, NC tornado on March 28.
Link
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Hey, all.
Been away from the blog for about 6 months, but Link this news made me figure it was time to check in again.

Excellent April Fools by Dr. Masters. Kudos!
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426. JRRP
Quoting Levi32:


Um that is the March forecast which came out on the website around the 20th I think. That means the April forecasts won't come out until mid-latter part of the month. I'm still waiting for the UKMET March forecasts to come out.

ok
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Quoting Levi32:


Yup, and according to the European it's just gonna keep burning up, both over Africa and the tropical Atlantic Ocean.

In fact most of the tropics are forecast to be warmer than normal, which is not surprising given the significant El Nino we just had.



Again, not surprised. This past moderate El Nino did a good job spreading excess warmth and moisture into the atmosphere around the globe.
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Quoting JRRP:

when is the next update ??


Um that is the March forecast which came out on the website around the 20th I think. That means the April forecasts won't come out until mid-latter part of the month. I'm still waiting for the UKMET March forecasts to come out.
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423. JRRP
Quoting Levi32:


Yup, and according to the European it's just gonna keep burning up, both over Africa and the tropical Atlantic Ocean.

In fact most of the tropics are forecast to be warmer than normal, which is not surprising given the significant El Nino we just had.


when is the next update ??
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Quoting SevereHurricane:


Not surprised! That's really not helping the Above Normal SST's situation off the African Coast either...


Yup, and according to the European it's just gonna keep burning up, both over Africa and the tropical Atlantic Ocean.

In fact most of the tropics are forecast to be warmer than normal, which is not surprising given the significant El Nino we just had.

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Quoting Levi32:


Oh it's been HOT over there.

January 1st-March 30th Surface Air Temperature Anomalies:



Not surprised! That's really not helping the Above Normal SST's situation off the African Coast either...
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Quoting SevereHurricane:


Look at how hot Africa is!


Oh it's been HOT over there.

January 1st-March 30th Surface Air Temperature Anomalies:

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Goodnight KMan! Nice to see you pop in here.
Congrats for four days of golf!
I will spend the weekend writing a paper on FDR.
Member Since: July 11, 2006 Posts: 14 Comments: 11384
Quoting JRRP:



Look at how hot Africa is!
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417. JRRP

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Quoting Levi32:


Now that is really cool! And notice the cloud streets of small cumulus forming over the warmest part of the loop, which is currently the western side.


I was wondering if that was the cause. Just goes to show how much warmer the water is in the Loop and Gulf Stream compared to surrounding waters. I knew you would like it.
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I'm out for tonight everyone. Happy Easter. We have a 4 day weekend here so golf tomorrow :-)
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Quoting StSimonsIslandGAGuy:
Well I read Douglas Preston's Impact, about strangelet matter being shot at the earth by an alien gun.

However, if strangelet matter was really a threat, I think strangelets would have converted all matter into strange matter long ago. Just think of a stangelet falling into a large star billions of years ago, converting the star and the star going supernova--all those gases and clouds, moving around, turning every bit of matter they touch into strange matter--other stars, new stars, new supernovas.

If matter was really that unstable in the presence of strange matter, I think all normal matter would have been converted. Long ago.

Yeah, that's pretty much the rebuttal.
But the universe is a really big place.
Member Since: July 11, 2006 Posts: 14 Comments: 11384
Quoting stillwaiting:
happy april fools day everyone:),god bless...good night,tomorrow could be the start of a fierce severe wx season for tornado alley!!


Its already started...

Photobucket

Photobucket
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Quoting SevereHurricane:
Check it out! Shortwave IR satellite imagry is picking up on the Loop Current in the Gulf of Mexico and the Gulf Stream off the eastern Florida coastline.

Photobucket


Now that is really cool! And notice the cloud streets of small cumulus forming over the warmest part of the loop, which is currently the western side.
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Quoting kmanislander:


From memory trade wind speeds are, and are forecasted to be, below average which would be positive for development.


Yes, a trend towards La Nina conditions would tend to raise pressures over NW South America, weakening the Columbian Heat Low, and therefore suppressing the trade winds through the Caribbean. Lower-than-normal pressures over and to the north of the Caribbean also decrease trade wind speeds, and there is evidence we could see that this year as well.
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happy april fools day everyone:),god bless...good night,tomorrow could be the start of a fierce severe wx season for tornado alley!!
Member Since: October 5, 2007 Posts: 20 Comments: 4970

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About

Jeff co-founded the Weather Underground in 1995 while working on his Ph.D. He flew with the NOAA Hurricane Hunters from 1986-1990.

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