Global warming unthaws warrior mermaids and mermen frozen during last ice age

By: Dr. Jeff Masters , 12:49 PM GMT on April 01, 2010

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Global warming has unthawed an entire race of warrior mermen and mermaids in the Arctic, scientists revealed today. At a packed press conference in Boulder, Colorado, Dr. Mark Xyzzy of the National Institute for Cryosphere Exploration and Tertiary Research on Yetis (NICETRY) revealed the details of the discovery: "We've been operating robot research submarines under the sea ice in the Chukchi Sea north of Barrow, Alaska this winter, as part of International Geophysical Year studies on the dynamics of arctic sea ice loss," commented Dr. Xyzzy. "Last week, one of our submersibles caught a remarkable video of a warrior mermaid, armed with a trident, riding past the submarine on the back of a narwhal. We were able to track the mermaid to her home--an underwater merfolk city at the bottom of the Chukchi Sea. The city had been thawed out in 2005 by warm water currents invading the Arctic due to global warming. These mermaids and mermen had been frozen into the underwater permafrost since the onset of the last ice age, 115,000 years ago. We undertook immediate efforts to establish communications with the merfolk, by sending in divers with underwater writing boards who were able to work out a simple symbol-based language. We learned that the Chukchi Sea merfolk are at war with a tribe of rival merfolk in the Greenland Sea. The two tribes have been fighting a heated underwater battle for dominance of the Arctic Ocean ever since global warming thawed out both tribes in 2005. It is the explosions from their undersea battles that have been the dominant cause of arctic sea ice loss since 2005, not global warming, as had been previously assumed. A team of experienced United Nations negotiators is now in the Arctic, attempting to broker a truce between the rivals and save the arctic sea ice from further destruction."


Figure 1. Merfolk negotiator Urgok Nzgradborkan and an exhausted U.N. diplomat take a break after a grueling all-night round of peace talks.

Critics of climate change science immediately pounced upon the news to unleash a new barrage of criticism against the National Intergovernmental and Territorial Panel to Investigate Climate Change (NITPICC). "The computer climate models used by the NITPICC utterly failed to anticipate the record loss of arctic sea ice due to underwater explosions from merfolk battles," commented spokesman Markoff Chaney of the Very Competitive Free Enterprise Institute. The Institute maintains of staff of top-notch scientists who swear that their funding from the fossil fuel industry does not affect the objectivity of their science. "This new "mermaid-gate" scandal proves that we can't trust climate models to say diddly-squat that's right about global warming, nah-nah-na-nah-nah!" taunted Chaney.

The head of NITPICC, Dr. R. J. Donteventrytopronouncemylastname, conceded that his organization had some work to do. "We're working very hard to incorporate the effect of underwater explosions from merfolk sea battles into the NITPICC models," said Dr. Donteventrytopronouncemylastname. "We've also begun to explore the impacts on sea ice should other denizens of the Arctic unthaw. For instance, the possibility exists that plesiosaurs from the time of the dinosaurs may be frozen in the underwater arctic permafrost. Should global warming thaw out these great leviathans of the deep, the turbulence from their swimming motions could cause significant cracking and breakup of the sea ice. We now have a new plesiosaur parameterization module built into our top models to account for this possibility."

Dr. Xyzzy of NICETRY commented, "I applaud NITPICC's efforts to incorporate their Underwater Merfolk Battle Module and Plesiosaur Parameterization Module into the climate models. However, I caution that they might also need to build modules to simulate the effects of astrology, thermography, ice-nine, and the warming effect of hot air coming out of Washington politicians, before critics of the NITPICC models will be satisfied."

April Fools!

Internet radio appearance today
I'll be appearing with San Francisco-based wunderground meteorologists Shaun Tanner and Tim Roche on The Daily Downpour Internet radio show at 4:20 pm EDT today, to talk about weather, hurricanes, and climate change. There will not be the opportunity to call in today. No foolin'!

Jeff Masters

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Quoting Drakoen:
The CFS forecast for anomalously well-above average precipitation in the Caribbean suggest less recurvature. Here's the CFS forecast from June 2005 for the A-S-O period of 2005 and the observed conditions below it:

could u explain any simplier what is recurvature and CFS what does all mean us here in the carrbbean
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Quoting Grothar:


Hey Pat. The image you posted of Rod Serling was an episode starring William Shatner. Don't ask me how I remember that. His character was hooked to the fortune telling machine. Just a bit of trivia.


Dang Grothar....i would have post the theme from youtube but, i'm sure i would have got banned again!
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Quoting TampaSpin:


Why that can't happen! Nobody has reported such an event so it can't be occuring. It must have been caused by Global Climate Change. That is the only answer i'm sure....HEHEHEHEHE


Lmao! So true. I bet you anything nsidc's next report will be something like:
Long term trend is down and multiyear ice is dissapearing. ANYTHING BUT MORE ICE!
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Dat be my fav episode Grothar,for sure.
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Quoting Grothar:


Hey Pat. The image you posted of Rod Serling was an episode starring William Shatner. Don't ask me how I remember that. His character was hooked to the fortune telling machine. Just a bit of trivia.


Grothar,you can admit it to us,your one of those closet Twilight Zone addicts.
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Its almost over for El Nino.

Member Since: April 29, 2009 Posts: 75 Comments: 14061
Quoting Patrap:
Imagine oneself in a Blog entry,..surrounded by Facts and figures.


Suddenly one sees a Figure Approaching, no its not Beyonce,..its the number 9.

You see another behind it approaching as well.

Its the Number 5.

In between the two is a walking X for multiplication.

One has the number's and the clue.

Post the answer here,if you dare.

Remember,one has entered, "The GW Zone"
















Hey Pat. The image you posted of Rod Serling was an episode starring William Shatner. Don't ask me how I remember that. His character was hooked to the fortune telling machine. Just a bit of trivia.
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Dr. Masters...If you're not gonna take calls today...How are we supposed to learn about tunnels?!?!?!?!?
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Rut-row..

Best to be ready in 2010



FEMA: Hurricane Preparation 2010

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Cyclone unlikely but heavy rain moving to Queensland
Brett Dutschke, Thursday April 1, 2010

Ex-Tropical Cyclone Paul is now unlikely to reintensify into cyclone status but flooding rain will still develop in tropical north Queensland.

The tropical low is moving slowly east across the Gulf, causing heavy rain over the Northern Territory's Arnhem Land and Roper-McArthur districts is easing to showers and a few storms. But heavy rain and storms is spreading across tropical north Queensland.

Widespread falls of 100-200mm are likely in the Gulf Country and Peninsula districts.

Even though the system has spent most of it's time below cyclone strength it has dumped more than 500mm over parts of Arnhem Land and Roper-McArthur districts in just a couple of days. This is the highest rainfall in more than a decade for some.

In just 24 hours more than 440mm of rain fell at Bulman and 350mm at Centre Island, both in the Roper-McArthur district.

More than 160mm fell at McArthur River Mine in the 24 hours to 9am today, their highest daily total in seven years. Borroloola's 185mm in the same period was an 11-year high.

It's been much wetter on the coast amongst the mangroves. About 60km up a windy track from Borroloola, Bing Bong amassed 266mm, their highest in more than 14 years.

- Weatherzone

______________________________________________________________________________________________


Former cyclone not expected to re-intensify

Thursday April 1, 2010 - 15:27 EDT

The Bureau of Metorology (BOM) says it does not expect ex-Tropical Cyclone Paul to redevelop in far north Queensland.

The BOM says the current forecast suggests the ex-cyclone will remain as a low pressure system and will move south. BOM forecaster Vikash Prasad says there will still be heavy rainfall in some Gulf communities.

"Heavy rainfall of course is going to be around the Gulf country area," he said.

"It's stretching from the Northern Territory down towards Burketown and Normanton.

"Now those areas have been experiencing the heavy rain associated with this system and it remains through the area over the next couple of days."

- ABC
Member Since: September 30, 2007 Posts: 9 Comments: 15932
Quoting CycloneUK:
Looks like Arctic sea ice is about to go above average for the fist time since may 2001!





Why that can't happen! Nobody has reported such an event so it can't be occuring. It must have been caused by Global Climate Change. That is the only answer i'm sure....HEHEHEHEHE
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50th Anniversary of the Satellite that "Forever Changed Weather Forecasting"


Fifty years ago today, the world’s first weather satellite lifted off from Cape Canaveral, Fla., and opened a new and exciting dimension in weather forecasting. Top leaders from NOAA and NASA hailed the milestone as an example of their agencies’ strong partnership and commitment to flying the best satellites today and beyond.
Member Since: September 23, 2005 Posts: 14 Comments: 10909
The CFS forecast for anomalously well-above average precipitation in the Caribbean suggest less recurvature. Here's the CFS forecast from June 2005 for the A-S-O period of 2005 and the observed conditions below it:

Member Since: October 28, 2006 Posts: 57 Comments: 29927
we finally stopped raining here in the northeast,but going to be a long time in recovering,these constant slow moving storms on the east coast,really make me wonder whats going to happen if any storms approach the east coast.This pattern has been around for so long.
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Member Since: March 19, 2009 Posts: 0 Comments: 1421
Looks like Arctic sea ice is about to go above average for the fist time since may 2001!



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Quoting AussieStorm:
Bizarre theories circling weather bureau



THEY are the digital-age equivalent of crop circles - mysterious patterns appearing on the Bureau of Meteorology's national radar system without any explanation.

And the random images described as red stars, rings of fire and white doughnuts are sending online conspiracy websites into meltdown.

The anomalies first began on January 15 when an "iced doughnut" appeared over Kalgoorlie in WA.

Satellite imagery showed there was no cloud over the area at the time to explain the unusual phenomenon but farmers' online comments claimed it was "unusually hot" all day.

It was followed by a bizarre red star over Broome on January 22 and a sinister spiral burst over Melbourne described by amateur radar buffs as the Ring Of Fire Fault.

The Bureau, which did not respond to repeated requests for comment, has acknowledged the anomalies on its popular website.
It has since posted a disclaimer above the national loop feed putting the images down to "occasional interference to the radar data".

"The Bureau is currently investigating ways to reduce these interferences," the disclaimer said.

Conspiracy websites, however, have lit up with dozens of breathless theories behind the strange anomalies from alien involvement, secret military testing to government weather modification.

One theory gaining traction online is the belief the US military has expanded its High Frequency Active Auroral Research Program.

Based at a remote research station in Alaska, the HAARP project involves shooting extremely high frequency radar bursts into the upper reaches of the atmosphere to see what happens after particles of the ionosphere are temporarily excited.

Ostensibly the research is to study the effects of solar flares on radio communications and improve missile detection and navigation systems.

But, unlike the failed cloud seeding experiments of yesteryear, conspiracy theorists claim HAARP is engaged in a sophisticated form of weather modification and that testing is also being done from a secret facility near Exmouth in Western Australia.

UK electrical engineer and crop circle expert Colin Andrews said Australians deserve an explanation.

"Until (the Bureau of Meteorology) make a formal and complete response to all the various strange patterns, one can only speculate about what is taking place," he said.

Mr Andrews urged people concerned by the bizarre radar symbols and strange weather patterns to contact the Bureau of Meteorology or a government representative.

Another theory suggests the anomalies appear before major weather events such as cyclones Olga and Paul and the violent storms which hit Victoria in recent weeks.

Others argue objects in the atmosphere emitting powerful radiation could be behind the mystery.


Better check your guys water over there Aussie. I think the government has slipped you guys some happy pills, probably the red one.
Member Since: August 11, 2008 Posts: 0 Comments: 2315
Bizarre theories circling weather bureau



THEY are the digital-age equivalent of crop circles - mysterious patterns appearing on the Bureau of Meteorology's national radar system without any explanation.

And the random images described as red stars, rings of fire and white doughnuts are sending online conspiracy websites into meltdown.

The anomalies first began on January 15 when an "iced doughnut" appeared over Kalgoorlie in WA.

Satellite imagery showed there was no cloud over the area at the time to explain the unusual phenomenon but farmers' online comments claimed it was "unusually hot" all day.

It was followed by a bizarre red star over Broome on January 22 and a sinister spiral burst over Melbourne described by amateur radar buffs as the Ring Of Fire Fault.

The Bureau, which did not respond to repeated requests for comment, has acknowledged the anomalies on its popular website.
It has since posted a disclaimer above the national loop feed putting the images down to "occasional interference to the radar data".

"The Bureau is currently investigating ways to reduce these interferences," the disclaimer said.

Conspiracy websites, however, have lit up with dozens of breathless theories behind the strange anomalies from alien involvement, secret military testing to government weather modification.

One theory gaining traction online is the belief the US military has expanded its High Frequency Active Auroral Research Program.

Based at a remote research station in Alaska, the HAARP project involves shooting extremely high frequency radar bursts into the upper reaches of the atmosphere to see what happens after particles of the ionosphere are temporarily excited.

Ostensibly the research is to study the effects of solar flares on radio communications and improve missile detection and navigation systems.

But, unlike the failed cloud seeding experiments of yesteryear, conspiracy theorists claim HAARP is engaged in a sophisticated form of weather modification and that testing is also being done from a secret facility near Exmouth in Western Australia.

UK electrical engineer and crop circle expert Colin Andrews said Australians deserve an explanation.

"Until (the Bureau of Meteorology) make a formal and complete response to all the various strange patterns, one can only speculate about what is taking place," he said.

Mr Andrews urged people concerned by the bizarre radar symbols and strange weather patterns to contact the Bureau of Meteorology or a government representative.

Another theory suggests the anomalies appear before major weather events such as cyclones Olga and Paul and the violent storms which hit Victoria in recent weeks.

Others argue objects in the atmosphere emitting powerful radiation could be behind the mystery.
Member Since: September 30, 2007 Posts: 9 Comments: 15932
love the above picture.
yesterday it snowed in our nearby mountains. i think the last time was 4 years ago.

jeffs713
Does anyone have some *good* news about this hurricane season?

yes, it's not here yet!
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Quoting jeffs713:
Does anyone have some *good* news about this hurricane season?


Of course, "It Hasnt started yet"
Member Since: August 11, 2008 Posts: 0 Comments: 2315
Weather expert predicts busy hurricane season

What??? What did they say????? This is from last night, not today. Let's hope they are wrong! :(

"The company said seven hurricanes will make landfall on the U.S. coast during the 2010 season, two or three of those at Category 3 strength or higher."
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Quoting jeffs713:
Does anyone have some *good* news about this hurricane season?


Sure we can have 20 named storms this year all out to sea.
Member Since: May 14, 2006 Posts: 8 Comments: 13636
Does anyone have some *good* news about this hurricane season?
Member Since: August 3, 2008 Posts: 16 Comments: 5875
Lmao!!

that was awesome Dr. Masters!

Member Since: June 28, 2006 Posts: 24 Comments: 8201
Video taken from mark sudduth at the Hurricane Conference on Dr.Phil Klotzbach talking about the 2010 hurricane season.
Member Since: May 14, 2006 Posts: 8 Comments: 13636
Quoting BenBIogger:


So I guess the SAL will most likely be the main inhibitor of tropical systems this year.

Kinda like a 2005 set up.


Exactly
Member Since: October 28, 2006 Posts: 57 Comments: 29927






El nino still hanging in there
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Quoting Drakoen:


TUTT will likely be positioned further north this year as the CFS indicates well below average wind shear for the majority of this season in the MDR.


So I guess the SAL will most likely be the main inhibitor of tropical systems this year.

Kinda like a 2005 set up.
Member Since: March 19, 2009 Posts: 0 Comments: 1421
Were the storms track this season is anyones guess as the long wave position is always changing, and rarely stays in one place more than 10-14 days. The potential is there this season for a well above year for tropical cyclones. I've fine-tuned my preparedness page on my site so if anyones wants to use it feel free during the season. adrian
Member Since: May 14, 2006 Posts: 8 Comments: 13636
Dr. M. you indicated a while back that you had something special for April Fools Day,and you didn't disappoint.Always have to have a sense of humor when discussing GW.Great job.
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Lol DRM. A much needed laugh for today. Thanks! :)
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In review, warm temperatures, low shear, and perhaps high SAL. I think pretty much the only thing the SAL could do is just delay the development long enough so that by the time it hits land, it won't have time to get that much steam. It might also prevent some small tropical storms.
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Quoting Drakoen:


TUTT will likely be positioned further north this year as the CFS indicates well below average wind shear for the majority of this season in the MDR.

We may be in for a somewhat big season. Last season wasn't that big, I think it was less active than 2006.
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Hahahaha, well done Doc, made me laugh out loud!!!
Member Since: September 23, 2006 Posts: 1 Comments: 2521
Quoting Drakoen:
On another note look at the CFS SST forecast for this year and compare that to when it was forecasting for 2005:

2009:


2005:




Right now the CFS is forecasting for a warmer Caribbean in 2009 than it was when it was forecasting in late March for 2005.

So, La Nina AND warm Caribbean. Uh oh...
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NICETRY, lol.
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Quoting StormChaser81:


Well if the moisture doesnt increase over in Africa we might not be as active as everyone is thinking.


SAL would likely only delay development because above-average SST will be more of a factor to help with the development of systems.
Member Since: October 28, 2006 Posts: 57 Comments: 29927
Quoting BenBIogger:


Hopefully a tutt sets up near the Caribbean this season.


TUTT will likely be positioned further north this year as the CFS indicates well below average wind shear for the majority of this season in the MDR.
Member Since: October 28, 2006 Posts: 57 Comments: 29927
Quoting jeffs713:

Um.. dat bad.

Is anyone else hoping for lots of SAL and surprise shear in the Atlantic basin this year?


Well if the moisture doesnt increase over in Africa we might not be as active as everyone is thinking.
Member Since: August 11, 2008 Posts: 0 Comments: 2315
lmao, thank you Dr we need some humor now and then.
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Quoting jeffs713:

Um.. dat bad.

Is anyone else hoping for lots of SAL and surprise shear in the Atlantic basin this year?


Hopefully a tutt sets up near the Caribbean this season.
Member Since: March 19, 2009 Posts: 0 Comments: 1421
Clever Boy. And the "you will not be able to call into the show today" must be an April Fool's joke. But we'll see.
Have a good one, everyone.
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Quoting Drakoen:
On another note look at the CFS SST forecast for this year and compare that to when it was forecasting for 2005:

2009:


2005:




Right now the CFS is forecasting for a warmer Caribbean in 2009 than it was when it was forecasting in late March for 2005.

Um.. dat bad.

Is anyone else hoping for lots of SAL and surprise shear in the Atlantic basin this year?
Member Since: August 3, 2008 Posts: 16 Comments: 5875
Quoting Grothar:


Just saw the picture after I posted to you. No, that is not a picture of me. I was never in "West Side Story"


But my U. of MD professor Gene Weiss was! You are still too, too funny. One of my two or three favorite movies (or plays), btw! I storyboarded the heck outta' that movie (for class).

Weather here is PERFECT. Now I'm afraid because I'm posting that. :)
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Quoting seflagamma:
Funny, Doc!!!

Happy April 1st to you and finally getting some beautiful weather down here in Florida!


Hey Gamma! Long time no talk. Is this weather not the greatest we've seen in a while??? We have friends from Sweden staying for a week and they think it is heaven.
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Quoting AwakeInMaryland:

GROTHAR!!! How ya' doin? This is NOT a pic of you, LOL!


"Pretty" by rabbit_mage on flickr
(Bathynomus giganteus - Giant Isopod)


Just saw the picture after I posted to you. No, that is not a picture of me. I was never in "West Side Story"
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Quoting AwakeInMaryland:
Bwahahahaha -- A Scientist with a sense of humor about GW/CC is a good thing! Thanks for the entry, Dr. Jeff!


Hey Awake, Haven't been on much. How has your weather been??
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Quoting Grothar:
Glad to see there is still someone with a sense of humor. Funny article. My only fear is someone may take it seriously. LOL That picture looks like the "Creature from the Black Lagoon"

GROTHAR!!! How ya' doin? This is NOT a pic of you, LOL!


"Pretty" by rabbit_mage on flickr
(Bathynomus giganteus - Giant Isopod)
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Funny, Doc!!!

Happy April 1st to you and finally getting some beautiful weather down here in Florida!
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Jeff co-founded the Weather Underground in 1995 while working on his Ph.D. He flew with the NOAA Hurricane Hunters from 1986-1990.