Dateline Metompkin, VA February 2, 2007
At precisely 7:08am GST (Groundhog Standard Time) Virginia's
Eastern Shore resident and prognosticator, Metompkin Max,
fulfilled his yearly duty by rubbing the sleep from his
eyes, observing weather conditions and proclaiming:
"Hey where's my shadow? Spring into action everybody,
Winter is OVER! This rain must have washed it away."
Max, who has always been described as "quite handsome",
looked particularly sharp this year, "Amos planted corn this
year, my favorite!" Those not familiar with the groundhog
physique might confuse Max's pudge as due to overeating, in
truth, the boy is bursting with pride! He and Clover are the
proud parents of their firstborn, Max XVII (known familiarly
as "Chuck"). What a difference a year makes!
Max (XVI) is the nephew of the famed forecaster of
southeastern Pennsylvania, Octorara Orphie. Both are of the
Marmotus rex clan, exalted forecasters and general shunners
of publicity (unlike "that Phil guy, a Marmotus familiaris,
who'd do anything for a camera"). Max resides (with the
arrival of Chuck, not so quietly, recently) on the Amos
Stoltzfus farm in suburban Metompkin, VA.
As usual, Max cautioned the residents of the Shore not to be
lulled into putting on their shorts because of his forecast,
"... we do have global warming to consider." Just two days
ago, Max's heliograph predicted a COLD snap for the first
week of February! An Eastern Shore Spring is like a San
Francisco summer (without the hills!).
Keep your woodpile dry, and keep a smile in your hearts, Spring is just around the
Happy Candlemas day, y'all.
To check on other prognosticators, go to www.groundhogsday.com click on "Groundhog Central"
Respectfully submitted by Earl Frederick (Sec. Gen. Slumbering Groundhog Lodge #46)
You may contact General Frederick at firstname.lastname@example.org
Updated: 1:12 PM GMT on February 02, 2007
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