Californiagurl's Thoughts?

How Did You Know?

By: Californiagurl, 12:01 AM GMT on September 29, 2006

Have you heard about the new game that's going on the market for this holiday season?

It's called "Bureaucracy."

There's one basic rule: The first person to do anything loses.
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A man in a hot air balloon realizes he's lost.

He reduces height and spots a man down below.

He lowers the balloon further and shouts, "Excuse me! Can you help me?

"I'm due at a rally point, and my team's counting on me to make it there on time; but, actually, I don't know where I am."

The man below says, "Sure. You are in a hot air balloon, hovering approximately 30 feet above this field. You are between 40 and 42 degrees north latitude and between 58 and 60 degrees west longitude."

"You must be an engineer," says the balloonist.

"Yes, I am," replies the man. "But how did you know?"

"Well", says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost."

The man below says, "You must be a manager."

"Well, that's right," replies the balloonist; "but how did you know?"

"Think about it," says the man below. "You didn't know where you were, and you didn't have a clue as to where you're going. You have
made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and now you expect me to solve your problem.

"The fact is, you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now somehow it's become my fault."
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After a day fishing in the ocean a fisherman is walking from the pier carrying two lobsters in a bucket. He is approached by the Game Warden who asks him for his fishing license.

The fisherman says to the warden, "I did not catch these lobsters, they are my pets. Everyday I come done to the water and whistle and these lobster jump out and I take them for a walk only to return them at the end of the day."

The warden, not believing him, reminds him that it is illegal to fish without a license. The fisherman turns to the warden and says, "If you don't believe me then watch," as he throws the lobsters back into the water.
The warden says, "Now whistle to your lobsters and show me that they will come out of the water."

The fisherman turns to the warden and says, "What lobsters?"

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Truth about Life.

By: Californiagurl, 2:00 AM GMT on September 19, 2006

SmileyCentral.com

On the first day, God created the dog and said: "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years."

The dog said: "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years, and I'll give you back the other ten?"

So God agreed.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said: "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span."

SmileyCentral.com

The monkey said: "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?"

And God agreed.


On the third day, God created the cow and said: "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years."

SmileyCentral.com

The cow said: "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty, and I'll give back the other forty?"

And God agreed again.

On the fourth day, God created man and said: "Eat, sleep, play, marry, and enjoy your life For this, I'll give you twenty years."

But man said: "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back? That makes eighty, okay?"

"Okay," said God, "You asked for it."

So that is why the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grand-children. And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.


Life has now been explained to you...



SmileyCentral.com

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Are you loving this like I am?

By: Californiagurl, 2:31 AM GMT on September 13, 2006

I am into this weather. The cool air, after the scorching heat we had. Ron said to someone the other day, if this is the kind of weather you have, we may just have to move here.

The garden is loving it too. We are getting a late batch of green beans and the peppers will be ready to pick again soon. I didn't get out to see the tomatoes, so I will have to do that tomorrow evening when I get home from work.
Fall is my second favorite season, (after spring of course)
Here is to tomorrow.

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Getting ready for fall (random thoughts)

By: Californiagurl, 6:41 PM GMT on September 03, 2006

And Boy am I. I love this weather. Give me spring and fall all year long, I can handle that. (But someone tell me. Has anyone else noticed that no matter what time of day you go out, if there are mosquitos, they are feeding) Yes they are worse at dawn and dusk. But I get bit no matter what time of day it is. Guess I am just too sweet. Ha.

Still waiting for rain. Just seems to part around us. The most moisture we have seen it the Heavy dew. Someone is getting some south of town between here and Eldon. Lucky dogs.
Its nice to be sitting on the deck these days though. Oh well back to cleaning up some stuff on the deck. Be back later maybe.

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